♥

moving on

2010-07-01T19:33:00.002+08:00

I will be moving on to another blog, one that will feature all my (mis)adventures as a newspaper reporter. I will be posting the link once I've got a new one. :)

I'm a New Soul

2010-06-22T22:55:00.002+08:00

I'm a new person.

I'm now a Christian.

I now have a personal relationship with the Lord.

And now I have to give up so many things,

for the greater glory of God!

Last Day

2010-06-18T17:16:00.001+08:00

This is the last blog post I'll ever do here in the JACM office.

Right now I'm not doing anything. Just waiting for 6pm to get my salary (good for 4 days) and for Aimee to finish her work.

Toodles!

Workaholic Me

2010-06-16T23:53:00.007+08:00

Am I?

Or am I just money- holic?

Lemme think... Nah, don't think so.

I just finished writing an 800-word article. You'd think that after finishing that 150-page thesis months ago an 800- word article comes off as easy. Not!

Nope I haven't started working at Sun Star yet. I'm writing for this part-time job I got a few days ago. See, I decided that the salary I'll be getting at Sun Star won't even last a week (I'm exaggerating but you get it) so I followed Teena's advice and made an account at www.onlinejobs.ph. You'd be amazed at the number of job offers there are for budding writers and 'feeling' writers. Hehe. I published my profile Sunday night and until now, emails still keep on coming. I have to reject them though (naks!) because I already accepted one from a Chinese (I think) employer.

He gave me a trial task which includes writing two articles, one 800- word and one 500- word. I haven't started on the second one yet. Maybe tomorrow. I like my employer because when he sent me the instructions regarding the trial task, he already sent the money as well.

And get this, my part-time job pays higher than my full-time job.

Mabuhay!

Toodles!

Delayed Wishlist

2010-06-14T00:07:00.004+08:00

I'm currently adding songs to my iTunes playlist while waiting for Urban Zone... and the relevance of that fact to what I will be posting is little to none.

Anywaaaay, I had my birthday exactly last week. I was planning to write a wish list but I have been so busy being an alcoholic (no I am just kidding). I had time yesterday though, but I thought it would be nicer to delay the wish list exactly a week after the birthday.

Last year, I wished for a car and some gadgets.

For some bizarre reason, after a year, I still don't have them. :)

I would be lying if I say I don't want to have them anymore but it would look really redundant (not to mention uncreative) if I publish a new list containing the same things. But honestly, those cool gadgets and stuff are not really on my mind right now.

I guess I really became wiser after a year. Hahaha.

So much for the long introduction, here are the 5 things I want to have in the near (or distant) future.

1. I wish to make peace with God.
I had a falling out with God. I haven't stepped inside His home or asked how He's doing since July 2008. Usually I'm too proud to apologize but I guess this guy matters so I made the first move. This weekend I'll be attending a retreat so we could talk things over. Miss you!

2. I wish to build a career.
I wanted this writing job at Sun Star badly so I wish I won't make a mess out of it. I hope I last at this job and be good at it, so good Stella Estremera will be promoting me after my first month. Or maybe not. Hahaha.

3. I wish to retain my relationship with all the people who's been there just because.
After graduating, I had this fear that I would be so caught up with the deals the real world could offer me and forget the people who saw me at my worst ~~and just rolled their eyes~~ but still stayed. You know who you are and I will love you forever. ♥

4. I wish to add more and more people to my love list.
I promised my friends, brods and sisses that things won't change but life goes on. The love list goes longer and longer. I won't be removing people from that list; instead I'll add more and I don't care how long it gets.

5. I wish to be happy and make someone happy.
Finally, the cheesiest wish of them all. But this is also the sincerest. It's been so long since I fell in love with a person (and not with the idea of love) and I think I'm ready to experience the roller coaster ride all over again. I want to be happy just by being with that someone and I would that someone to feel completely the same. I want to be the most important part of his life. I want to be wanted, needed, loved. I want to want, need, and love.

No more material things. And I'm not really kidding. :)

Good night.

another overhaul

2010-06-10T23:27:00.003+08:00

I know, I know, I'm overposting.

I've been following a blog for two days now (sorry I have nothing to do at the office). It's about the rants and experiences of a certain waiter in a certain NYC Italian restaurant.

You know that old saying, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? I want to flatter him. Badly. Someday this blog's gonna be the rants of a newspaper reporter.

Hehe.

But I have to gain some traffic first.

Toodles!

of money and choices

2010-06-10T15:58:00.005+08:00

I realized that I just threw away all my fantasies of swimming in a bathtub of cash when I decided to work for a newspaper company.

Somehow it doesn't feel as bad as what everybody else imagines.

But before that, yes I am blogging again at work.

Anyway, my office mate just finished "interrogating" me (via chat of course) why I accepted another job which pays lower than the comfortable one I have right now. I told her I did it because I want to, because I've always wanted it, because for the life of me, I can't imagine missing an opportunity like it.

She said she can't get over the shock my little news gave her. I mean, by tomorrow, I've just worked here for a month. She asked if it's already final, I told her I already filed my resignation last Monday, on my birthday. She said I'm "unique" (PC-speak for weird haha) because other people would scramble for a job with a higher salary and not the other way around. Then she told me I'm even paid a higher rate (in the company I'm currently in) than the others.

I didn't change my mind. I don't think I'll ever change my mind regarding this. Of course, at the end of our conversation, she wished me luck and success and told me to never forget her. I won't. She was the first colleague I've talked to when I got here. :)

Then I went to the other room and saw Ma'am Lynna interviewing an applicant. I saw her taking an exam earlier and saw that she was applying for the position I'd be vacating. She's pretty and she sounds smart. I can picture her doing my job. :P

As I walked by them, Ma'am asked her what her dream job is. The girl answered that she really loves to write and she'd love to become one in the future. I smiled to myself as I entered the privacy of the comfort room.

I'm pretty sure that girl was older than me. Heck, the only way she could be younger than me is if she's still a college senior. But I felt wiser. To others it might seem as if I'm throwing the job that would ensure my future but to me it's the right thing to do. Even Ma'am Lynna realized that.

I maybe earning a lot less than my classmates but I don't really care. Sure, I need to find a high-paying side job to finance myself but it's okay. I think I'm already prepared to do that.

Somehow it feels like sooner or later I'm gonna regret this decision but I don't think I'd be changing my mind. I know myself; I love to complain, so it's inevitable. I think I just became wiser by ten years. Hahaha.

And then, hopefully, someone will be able to handle a minimum wage- earning newspaper reporter and love her just the same.

And then we'll sing "Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey..."

Hahahaha, ew!

workless work day

2010-06-09T16:29:00.004+08:00

Yes I am blogging on the job.

And yes, I am not exactly working right now.

I feel guilty looking around, my colleagues catching the many deadlines waiting at the end of the day while I'm just blog hopping (and blogging) but there's nothing I can do. I mean, I finished all the articles to be edited yesterday and I only had to edit less than ten today. I finished them all this morning.

This is gonna be a loooong, self-conscious afternoon.

UPDATE: I just came back from the kitchen to make myself another cup of coffee and saw my superior playing Plants vs. Zombies. Guilt erased. Priceless. :)

whirlwind

2010-06-06T23:26:00.006+08:00

This has been a whirlwind weekend. It started off on Saturday morning when I went to the Sun Star office for my second interview. I waited for Ms. Estremera for about thirty minutes and we had the interview for, like, ten.

Guess what? I got in!

So now I'm making this resignation letter after some heavy thinking.

But anyway, that's certainly not what made this weekend a whirlwind.

I celebrated my birthday yesterday (well, until this morning) with twenty plus of my beloved brods and sisses. The call time was six, they arrived at eight. Oh well, why am I not surprised?

After we had a pretty much wholesome dinner (and talking and playing and laughing out loud), they blindfolded me and led me outside. They surrounded me in a circle and performed their hastily- made (hehe) medley of songs. Their performance was brilliantly out of tune, but I loved every second of it. Then my sis Darlene gave me this:

Forgive the rather unflattering picture of me. I mean, this happened after we ran on the streets... Anyway, my grinning face there is actually a booklet filled with messages from them. I never told them but this is the best gift I have ever received for my birthday.

I think they would have wanted me to cry but I could not control my laughter. It was just so embarrassing :)

Bobbie gave me a plaid lighter (where is it now?) and a box of Dunhill cigs. I recently quit so they finished every stick. Ian bought me the confrat keychain with a note. A Bible verse. Why am I not surprised. Earlier, my sis Ate Mayche gave me a paper bag containing a bottle of blueberry (?) wine which we consumed in 5 minutes. I also received few more letters, a fish pencil and a small teddy bear. They had no note so I don't know who gave them but thank you!

But wait, there's more. A party is never a party without alcohol so my kuya set off to buy three bottles of tequila. We crowded around a small table but I think only ten or less people were actually drinking. As usual.

Tequila doesn't hit hard and by the time we finished the third bottle, it started to drizzle. We moved inside the house and waited for the rain to stop. It was around 2 am. Some of my brods and sisses started to go home while the others remained. Cecile, Chary, Ate Ems, Ate Mayche, Kuya Jon, Ate Lilay, Darlene, Tumas, Rey, Ian and Doods remained.

When the rain stopped, we set off for another two bottles of gin. By that time, only 5 drinkers were left. (Or were we just 5 to begin with?) We invited my kuya and his friends to join us. After we drank the first bottle of gin, they started to open the beer. I only had two glasses of beer since I do not like the taste.

I didn't know what we were thinking but Cecile, Ian and I decided to drink the second bottle of gin by ourselves. Midway through the bottle, Ian vomited. By sunrise, it was my turn. But we did not fucking stop drinking because as we say, we are hardcore.

My other brods and sisses who peacefully slept inside the house were just waking up when we finished drinking. I did not have any energy but when they started leaving, I don't know what came over me and decided to come with them to Mintal two hours away.

I think it was my subconscious acting because I was really disoriented to wake up finding myself in a taxi to Mintal. I don't even remember who exactly were in the cab with me. We went to Pi house and immediately fell asleep.

And then when I woke up, I had the worst hangover in my life.

Chary, Bikay, Teena and I went downtown by 2:30 pm. I puked thrice along the way. It wasn't pretty.

All along I keep saying, 'di na jud ko muusab (I won't do this again) but then again, I always do that everytime I get drunk so maybe this time's different. But it certainly felt like the worst hangover I ever had, which was confirmed by Cecile when we caught each other online earlier tonight. We agreed that this was record- breaking and we'll never drink that way again.

As if!

The following are random pictures from the "party." We didn't have one where we are complete because we are maligalig like that.

Oh it's 12 midnight! It's already my real birthday! Ow the headache!

Hello June

2010-06-03T23:21:00.005+08:00

It's June 3 and it's four days away from my birthday.

Aaaaahhhh! I'll be twenty next week!

I'm going to miss you teenage years. I had so much fun with you.
Bye.
Ingat.
Wait, don't bring those memories with you.
Leave them here.
Thanks.

I'm gonna publish my wish list tomorrow or on Sunday.

On Saturday, I'm going to have my second interview in Sun Star (pees in pants) and my brods and sisses are going to make a beeline from Mintal to Cabantian for the food I promised them.

Oh for the love of food.

:)

BTW: I changed my layout into something cleaner but more personalized. I just downloaded a free template and tweaked with the header. Editing headers reminds me of my Multiply site(and the good old sophomore- junior days)

nightmare at r.castillo st.

2010-05-29T21:37:00.004+08:00

Hehe, I went to the Sun Star office in such good spirits. Little did I know I will be interrogated via written exam.

I arrived at the office at 9:30 and waited for a while for the interviewer to arrive. The (preliminary) interview was a breeze. I think we did it in thirty. Then Ms. Donnah (the interviewer) gave me four sheets of paper. I thought to myself, why this isn't even half of my exam in JACM. Then I saw three booklets. Turns out the four measly sheets were answer sheets and the booklets, they were the real questionnaires.

I guess I could not discuss what the exams are or anything even remotely related to them, just in case some aspiring applicant happens to read this, so I'll just say it was soooo hard. I took the exams in three hours. I didn't even get to have lunch. And I was holding my urine like crazy. I finished taking it by 2pm and since I was too shy and uncivilized to ask where the CR was, I hurriedly rode two jeepney rides to GMall. I urinated there.

Around thirty minutes later, my mother, father and sister arrived at said mall and I finally had lunch. At 3pm.

What a day.

Confucius 2

2010-05-28T21:20:00.002+08:00

Today I began to love JACM.

Tomorrow, I'm going to SunStar for an interview.

Comfort vs. Passion

Stability vs. Dream

Mind vs. Heart

Confucius

2010-05-25T21:41:00.001+08:00

I was happily working this afternoon (while chatting with my brod, Sonny, and sis, Elaine)when I received a text message.

I ignored it for a few minutes because I was still editing an article. After a few minutes, I looked at my phone and saw that it was from Ms. Gigi of SunStar Davao.

She asked me if I would like to work for SunStar as a reporter.

OMG. Memories of my childhood dreams came rushing in. I couldn't wait for the day to be over so that I can reply to Ms. Gigi. (I didn't have load, sorry.)

I asked my officemate (secretly) if an employee can resign even if she's only been working for less than a month. She said yes and I told her about SunStar.

So far, only four people aside from my family know about this. They all told me to follow my heart. Of course there's this question about salary. I don't know; I couldn't care less about the salary. This is my dream job.

And so I've decided. I'll be editing my resume later. I'll talk to my current bosses about this in the right time.

Help me God.

iLove

2010-05-23T22:09:00.004+08:00

This song is the best I could come up with to describe how I'm feeling right now.

Too bad platonic is the only way to go. :(

iMiss

2010-05-15T22:16:00.005+08:00

Do I have another entry with the same title? I wouldn't be surprised, judging from the amount of missing I'm feeling now.

Charice!

It's Saturday and I'm home all day. Usually I would have felt depressed but now, it's actually comforting to be in a familiar environment, to be surrounded with familiar people.

Don't get me wrong. I like working there. It's not my dream career but I'll get there in time, realistically speaking. The people in my office are friendly, they treat me well. But I don't really have anyone to talk to there. I can only count the times in a day I open my mouth to speak. Sometimes I only open my mouth to inhale a cigarette.

I would never admit it but I'm lonely. Surprisingly, it's not a feeling of self- pity. It's something new yes, but I guess I can live with it.

Then I realized, the reason why I can deal effortlessly with the loneliness is that I know there are people, wherever they are right now, who will always take me in. No matter what happens, no matter who graduates, they'll always be there. The relationship is not always that harmonious but I'd rather have them treat me bad and tease me mercilessly (which they always do).

And those people I miss so badly.

at the office

2010-05-11T21:28:00.003+08:00

I kind of like the phrase.

Oh no, I can't come now. I'm at the office.

Hi, I just got back from the office.

Can we move it to another day? I'll be at the office.

Charice!

Anyway, today was my first day at JACM.

I literally didn't do anything.

Well, not yet.

My team leader, Ma'am Carlina told me to just familiarize myself with the workplace, read some of the sample documents, re-arrange my folders, customize my desktop... She also looked for some officemates who would accompany me for lunch. So kind!

But believe me, sitting on your butt for more than 8 hours, looking at the PC monitor could be so tiring.

It's especially tiring when your phone keeps receiving all kinds of messages and you can't reply because you have no load.

And the Chikka website is blocked.

And Facebook too.

Guess it's just YM and me.

By the way, I miss my regular readers, George and Teena. Where are you this side of the internet?

purple ink

2010-05-10T18:35:00.001+08:00

After five grueling hours of standing in the rain and waiting (and also making siksikan and getting to know other voters)...

The precinct is just a kilometer or two from my house. My mother and father dropped me there at about 7:15.

I got home at around 12:30.

Just wow.

Yes it was super tiring but I guess it's worth it. Also, I had some fun actually even though I did not know anyone there. Thanks to the good ol' Pinoy humor. :)

gratitude overload

2010-05-07T01:22:00.003+08:00

Currently, I'm reading another mystery novel (which has no relation to my post). I'm just blogging so that I won't forget to do so.

I know there are a lot of things I don't have and there are a lot more things that are not gonna happen in the near future (to me, that is).

That is why it is so easy to forget that the number of the things I don't have will nowhere be as immense as the number of things I have.

And these things I have, I didn't even have to beg for.

So it's time for me to stop self- pitying and start counting my blessings.

I am thankful for

- a mother who buys me shoes

- a father who discusses politics with me

- a brother who consents (and teaches me) vices tsk2

- a sister who annoys me constantly :D

- my brods and sisses in Pi Sigma- Pi Sigma Delta

- my Uber friends

- having a house

- having a Bachelor's degree

- having a full- time job

- being able to vote on Monday (I am for Gordon- Bayani!)

- being well- fed (yes!)

- having enough clothes

- having my own bedroom since third grade

- books

- music

- movies

- TV shows and cartoons

- television that kills boredom

- internet that makes it possible to stay in touch

- electricity

- running water

- a cellphone that still gets messages from my loved ones

- living in a city that has malls

- living in a city that is safe

- always having options

- always having the option to be happy!

See? There are a lot more things to be thankful for! Counting blessings perks me up better than chocolate!

On second thought... chocolate doesn't seem to be a bad idea... :P

farewell bumming

2010-05-05T20:29:00.003+08:00

I'm now officially part of the Philippines' labor force.

Yey!

I just got a call and I still can't believe I said "Wow, really? As in?" to Ma'am Lynna.

I'm happy I got the job I wanted.

I may not be earning as much as, say, call center agents (?) but at least it's the job that doesn't feel like work.

At least for now.

PS: This afternoon I received a comment from a brod (you know who you are) and it made me realize that, OMG, anybody could be reading my blog right now.

Aaah!

(Self- conscious mode)

Toodles!

of bus rides and the like

2010-04-29T16:03:00.003+08:00

For the last two nights, I dreamt of riding a bus.

The same bus.

I do not remember waiting at the bus station or hailing the bus in both of my dreams.

Both my dreams started with me getting on the bus and sitting on an aisle seat near the door.

All of the characters in the dream are imagined; I was not able to recognize anyone on the bus.

I was seated beside two old men who have thick beards.

In my first dream, nobody paid attention to me.

All eyes were on the TV screen mounted on top of the driver's seat.

In fact, I don't remember seeing the driver.

In my second dream, still I got on the bus and sat at the same seat beside the two old men.

This time, the konduktor walked toward me and asked for my ticket.

Surprisingly, I handed him mine.

Then the two old men started talking to me.

I had no idea what they were talking about and they began to get frustrated.

I tried even harder but I simply couldn't get it.

Then I called the konduktor (the driver was still absent) and told him I would like to get off the bus.

He said I couldn't.

I told him I could.

And so the (imaginary) driver stopped the bus and I got down.

I couldn't remember where I was.

All I remember was that the place felt familiar.

* I tried to research the dream interpretation of a bus ride.

In one site, it said:

To dream that you are riding an animal or vehicle, symbolizes the path and direction of your life. If you were riding away, then it suggests that you need to distance yourself from some issue. Alternatively, it may indicate that you are going along with someone else's plans and ideas.

In another site, it said:

Your perceptions about your experience or relationship with a group or organization. Are you carrying too heavy or too light a load, or do you need to be carried for a while? Perhaps you’ve failed to do or perceive something important (missed the bus); or maybe dream is warning you it could still happen if you are not vigilant.

oops, wrong move

2010-04-26T16:47:00.003+08:00

This has been bothering me for quite a while. (Translation: more or less one week)

I just can't explain why I'm feeling like this. I was excited to see you, I felt really giddy when I'm with you and I really don't like the fact that I'm not gonna see you for a month or so.

And I couldn't stop thinking about you. And I couldn't stop wondering "what if." And I absolutely cannot tell anyone, well at least for now.

And then I also keep asking myself, why now, why you?

Trust me, it's hard to say this, but I think I'm beginning to like you. Not in the same sense as before. I think.

And lastly, I know I might read this post again in the future and laugh. Laugh maybe because I acted stupid again, or laugh maybe because the unlikely has happened.

Oh well.

♥♥♥

2010-04-25T18:59:00.002+08:00

From http://funnysexy.ph/2010/04/a-whole-box-of-cheese/

Keso
Kring Elenzano
060307

Balang araw, may magmamahal din sa akin ng lubus-lubusan. Yun bang iiiyak niya na lang ang umaapaw na pag-ibig sa kanyang puso. Gagawan niya ako ng awitin, susulatan ng tula at titingala sa mga tala habang abot langit ang ngiti – dahil ako ang kanyang naiisip. Higit sa lahat, ipagdarasal niya ako at matimtimang papangarapin na sanay mahalin ko rin siya.

Sa gabi, ako ang bida sa kanyang panaginip. Ang aking larawan ang magiging tanging laman ng kanyang pitaka, kasama ng perang iipunin niya para sa akin. Hihintayin niya ako sa trabaho kahit na matapos ako ng alas dos ng madaling araw at hindi uuwi hanggat ako’y payapa na sa aking kama .

Ipagluluto niya ako ng maasim na sinigang at hahanapin ang mga pelikulang matagal ko nang nais mapanood. Ipipinta niya ang aking mukha, lilinisin ang barado kong lababo at paliliguan ang aming mga aso. Hindi nya rin ako patitigilin sa aking bisyo, bagkus ay sasabayan ang mga trip ko sa buhay.

Gagalangin niya ang mga magulang ko, makikipag-basketball sa kapatid ko at magmamano sa aking lola. Patatawanin niya ang aking mga kaibigan at gagawin ang lahat, masigurado lang na ako’y masaya, hindi bilang alipin, ngunit isang taong nagmamahal – ng lubus-lubusan. At ang pagmamahal na ito’y magpapasaya rin sa kanya.

Balang araw, may hahawak rin ng aking kamay at hahalik sa aking mga labi. Yayakapin niya ako nang mahigpit at ibubulong sa aking tenga na hinding hindi niya ako pababayaan. At sa gitna ng kaguluhan, kasamaan at kahirapan sa buhay, magpapasalamat siya pagkat ako’y nakilala niya at matatanto niyang may mabuti at maganda at maaliwalas pa rin pala sa mundo.

Marahil ay hindi ko pa nga siya natatagpuan pero darating ang panahong makakapag-kape rin kami, habang pinanonood si haring araw na nagiging anino ng gabi. At sa iyo, sa taong magmamahal rin sa akin balang araw, ‘wag kang mag-alala. Pagdating ng panahong mabasa ko sa iyo itong munti kong komposisyon, mahal na rin kita – ng lubus lubusan.

i wanna cry

2010-04-22T21:34:00.004+08:00

I know I just posted a blog earlier but I can't help it. I need to let this out.

Somehow I don't have the heart to publish this on Facebook.

Now that graduation is finally over, everything is sinking in. The fact that I have to look for a full- time job. The fact that I won't have to travel to school anymore. The fact that I am now much nearer to my dreams. And the fact that, inevitably, I would be moving farther away from the people who mattered (and still matter) the most: my brods and sisses.

I just became too attached. In school, I never have to worry about being alone. Even if I'm walking by myself, I am confident enough because I know, the solitude is just surface- level. I never had to worry about anything because I know whatever I do, I will always have my no-fail support group.

That is precisely the reason why I am so terrified now. I know I am capable of handling myself, that I am independent enough to be able to rely on my own. What I am afraid of are the moments I expect to see my brods and sisses at my back (figuratively, of course) and see none.

If it is just up to me, I would rather not graduate if it means I will be able to stay with my brods and sisses. If I have a choice, I would like the entire confraternity to stay the way it used to be always. But things don't work that way. I believe in karma and I believe that the old must go in order to give way to the new, that everything must be arbitrary and not stationary in order to be progressive.

And to tell you the truth, it's hard being one of the old to be given up to make way for the new.

PS: There is something else that is bugging me right now and I cannot tell it to anyone nor post it here.

I just wanna cry. :(

unemployed

2010-04-22T20:00:00.003+08:00

I am a graduate and I have no job.

Cheers!

I just came home from a family outing and will be hanging out with graduate- brods and sisses tomorrow.

Hopefully they won't opt to go to the beach or anything. I'm like super sunburned already!

PS: Being a graduate does not feel different. I definitely didn't become wiser. All I know is that I EXTREMELY miss some people already!

PPS: I just changed my "Know Me" page into a more emo one. :)

new chapter

2010-04-19T20:39:00.004+08:00

Today, I went to JACM for my exam and interview, wherein I applied for the position of editor. That was not the first job interview I had taken in my entire 19 years of existence. That also did not feel different from the other two previous job interviews I had, one back in 2007 for Kumon and the other just last year for Rarejob.

I had the same pre- interview feeling. I really had the jitters and while I was anticipating it, I was also highly dreading it. This morning it felt as if my stomach is ready to turn upside- down.

However, when I applied for Kumon, I was pretty sure I would be accepted. George and I were the only applicants that time and they badly needed assistant teachers. Then again, that didn't mean we got hired easy. We had to answer two exams in English and in Math. Oh the horror.

Rarejob was pretty easy. I did not even have to send a resume. I just had to certify that I was a UP student, throw in that I was a BA Communication Arts senior with high English and computer literacy, be available at a certain time for an online interview- slash- training and voila, name your schedule.

My interview at JACM was actually my first "real- world" interview. Sure, I was able to answer the examination well, got a pretty good score at the IQ test and "entertained" the interviewer Ma'am Lynna (who is a UP Diliman graduate), but that's it. There was no assurance that I would be a full-time working girl by May. Who knows how many applicants also applied for the position? It's creepy how easily I can imagine myself at the bottom rank among the other job- seekers.

Then again, it's part of the experience. At least I tried, right? Anyway I can still apply for that Korean school...and bear some months of teaching English again. (sigh)

Anyway, to sum this up (and to make sense of the title), I will be marching on Wednesday. Finally. And after that, everything that will happen will be typed in another Word document entitled "New Chapter." :)

happiness is a choice

2010-04-16T21:39:00.005+08:00

This morning I attended the Recognition/ Send- Off program held by our college (College of Humanities and Social Sciences). Honestly, I thought we were going to have a party. I didn't expect that we were going to witness an honest- to- goodness recognition program, the non- religious version of a Baccalaureate mass. OMG, spell check please.

When I arrived, my Uber friends were still "on- the- way." As usual. So when I got there, I literally was the only one who sat alone. Everybody else was sitting with their families. Good thing Hazel and her mom sat beside me.

Then again, there's no reason for me to invite my parents. Sayang lang pamasahe nila, they'd just be sitting with me in the audience. When the program started, I really wanted to sink in my seat. Almost everybody there had the chance to go upstage and get an award. Some even went upstage so many times to get the awards na pinakyaw na nila.

See, I'm not used to being just one of the audience in programs like this. Ever since I started studying, I always had at least one award, sometimes even the top award. I always get to be photographed. So it kinda hurt my ego when I was requested to take pictures.

When I was looking at my classmates collecting their certificates, I tried not to think that this was the first semester that I was not able to become a Dean's lister. I did not even manage to get on the Honor Roll. I could not help thinking that if I only paid attention to my studies, I could have been cum laude.

My friends (thankfully parent-less) arrived later. Some of them got an award, some of them were like me. But I assure you, none of us are mediocre. It was just unfortunate that in the last semester of our college lives we chose to prioritize things other than our academic responsibilities.

Then again, what the hell. I choose not to dwell on my misfortunes. At first I felt like a failure but hey, in a few days time I would be an official graduate of UP. My parents are happy enough. True, they could be happier if the words "cum laude" will be printed in my resume but they did not make me feel that.

After all, it is not my loss. How could it be my loss if it was never mine in the first place? I wasn't meant to graduate cum laude. That doesn't mean that I didn't learn. I learned so much and the learning extended outside academics. I did not learn by studying; I learned by spending the last months of my stay in the university with the people I love and care for.

That's the happiness I would rather dwell on. :)

rainy summer

2010-04-12T13:39:00.001+08:00

This post officially ends my blogging hiatus.

Actually, there was no hiatus declared. It was just that ever since school was out, I wanted to do nothing. Like, absolutely NOTHING.

And I did. I had no academic liabilities, no bright blogging ideas, and no work.

After two weeks of being a bum, I got tired. Also, no school plus no work is equal to no moolah. :(

But wait, I'm now researching on a certain company I'm applying for. Tomorrow I'll be making my first "real- world" application letter and resume. Hopefully, by Wednesday, I'll be able to go to the office to submit it. And on the days that I will be waiting for a call from them (IF they'll call), I should be practicing my lost writing skills. Nervous much!

Real world, here I come!!!

But for tonight, I'll be catching up on my blog responsibilities. I had been looking for a new blog to follow but I could not find anything worth my time. I decided the best blog to follow is mine. :)

(And yeah, perhaps I'll make a new header. This wooden background is just a phase.)

thisclose

2010-03-31T14:31:00.001+08:00

Believe it or not, finally I can say, yes I'll be graduating on April 21.

I'll be walking down the aisle, err, atrium, with the UP Sablay proudly slung across my body.

Yes, I will be a UP Alumna.

And yes, I will graduate on fucking time.

Currently, I'm printing my thesis.

I started two hours ago, I'm still on my third copy.

Another looong night it is.

:)

loren haggarda

2010-03-08T14:13:00.000+08:00

Ito ang larawan ng babaeng walang magawa sa buhay kundi picture-an ang sarili nyang nakatakip ang kamay sa mukha.

NOT!

Haaay, I love hell weeks! And being the OC that I am, these are the events to take place this week. :)

Monday

Thesis - Academy Awards - Thesis until the day breaks

Tuesday

Meet with film prod group - Meet with business comm group - Meet with new media prod group - Start shooting - Start editing the footages - Think about thesis

Wednesday

Make publicity for seminar discussion - Start making website - Continue editing - Make thesis

Thursday

Seminar discussion - Continue shooting - Continue editing - Continue making website - Continue making thesis

Friday

Continue shooting - Continue shooting - Continue editing - Continue making website - Continue making thesis - Download software

Saturday

Make thesis until eyes bleed - Edit movie until eyes bleed - Make website until eyes bleed - Practice for practical exam until eyes bleed

Sunday

Finalize thesis like hell

And that's it! We still have our final exams and the submission of final requirements the following week!

Hurrah for UP! Hurrah for a good life! Fuck!

Sting

2010-03-01T15:34:00.001+08:00

Sting is a bee's remembrance.

Sting is the name of The Police's lead singer.

Sting is also the energy drink that forced me to do my thesis.

Seriously, Sting's effective. If you have to pull an all- nighter, buy a bottle or two.

And I just found out that it's owned by Pepsi.

I'm sorry Coca-cola. This is unavoidable :)

--Okay back to thesis work

almost there...

2010-02-28T10:50:00.000+08:00

No, I'm not almost there. I'm like, barely started.

I remember having developed a special, intimate relationship with the Rabagos' toilet. Now I'm feeling the same again: this time, toward the computer. I have been sitting on this very seat looking at this very screen for what, 36 hours? I only left this seat to sleep, take a bath and other bathroom stuff, and sometimes eat.

Fuck education. Fuck college. Fuck thesis.

Just kidding. Of course I don't feel any hatred right now. I just want to slap myself fifty times for not doing anything after my thesis defense on February 3. That's sooo long ago. I could have been done right now.

I could have been done an entire week ago had I not devoted my full time to the election campaign. I hate you electoral process. I haaaaate you.

Anyway, I'm blogging to take my mind off that loooong Word document entitled "Revised4", otherwise known as my thesis. Thank you so much for taking time to read my senseless post.

PS: He performed the other night, on TATAK UPMin. I have a video of their band. I'm not gonna upload it on Facebook to save my reputation.

Iiiiiiieeeee. Pogi kaayo sya. *blush* Sorry na lang sa dili makarelate.

fickle

2010-02-25T11:27:00.000+08:00

Reg sent me this text message ten days ago:

"Waiting is the most important thing that you can do for love, but it proved me one thing. As it goes it can also change your mind."

I think the same happened to me. I am aware that I wrote sometime ago that I may never have feelings for a person other than him. I have always thought so. Until we started to talk again.

Some people may say that I'm feeling the way I feel right now because my friends didn't like him. Believe me, that's not the case. I'm not exactly famous for listening to my friends' advice.

I didn't know what happened. Before, I see him in school and think that I have always been waiting for him, that I can never talk to him again, that someday we will meet in another place, in another time, all that is perfect.

But now that I can talk to him almost everyday? I realized that what I felt was just longing. Even if it's contrary to what other people may feel, I honestly like his personality. It's as if I can see more than what other people can see. (Okay, time to puke) No seriously, it's like I've been wanting to just be friends again. Nothing more than that.

And now I realize that my feelings can be turned on and off and on again and off again in lightning speed.

PS: Show's over, time to make my thesis. :(

galing sa fb

2010-02-21T13:46:00.000+08:00

Result ng test sa Facebook. Ayoko lang syang ipublish dahil ayoko lang.

Dear Maan Laxa, below are your Personality Tests result:
Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Your view on yourself:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are down-to-earth
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : People like you because you are so straightforward
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person
The seriousness of your love:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are very serious about relationships
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : If you meet the right person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You will fall deeply
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Beautifully in love
Your views on education:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You listen to your own instincts
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Tend to follow your heart
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : So you will probably end up with an unusual job
The right job for you:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You have many goals
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Want to achieve as much as you can
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy
How do you view success:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Nothing will stop you from trying
What are you most afraid of:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of things that you cannot control
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel

Parang halos perfect ah.. Kewl :)

wah!

2010-02-20T13:21:00.000+08:00

To George and Teena, nagpataka lang mo og interpret! My goodness, kabaliktaran gud.. Kanang previous post nako kay dili about sa iyaha! ABOUT NA SYA SA INUHA GEORGE!

Wah!!!

naman!

2010-02-10T19:46:00.000+08:00

Bakit kung kailan okay na ako saka ka bumabalik?

That's all folks :)

longer days and shorter nights

2010-02-06T10:20:00.000+08:00

It's already 6:05 pm but the sun has still not set. Anyway, it doesn't have anything to do with my post. Haha, sorry.

I just had my thesis defense last Wednesday. The panelists advised me to focus on just one aspect of my study, therefore narrowing it down. They asked me whether I would like to re-defend or go straight to the plenary.

I asked for a re-defense. Wala lang, for the char. Yes! There is hope for graduation after all.

I'm currently playing The Scruffs at home. I think it's my first weekend at home this semester, the reason being I have so much to do for next week. But yes, I'm still playing.

These are the things I have to do:

- 9 business letters for Business Communication

- a full-length storyboard for Film Production

- a paper for Philosophy

- a paper for Biodiversity

- study for an exam in Biodiversity

- etc.

I'll do them later!

the story of the lost and found ID

2010-01-28T15:05:00.000+08:00

I just found my ID earlier. It went MIA since last semester. Now I know why I never cared to go and have another ID made.

Maybe this is also true with old friends. In this case, friends since I stepped on the muddy soil of UPMin. You meet many people, you become close with them, intimate even (oops!). More people became memorable in my life as I went through college but I guess nothing beats a simple bond between true friends who accidentally got to know each other inside out.

My day started out far from good. I have to inject ink into our cartridge, a job I really hate, and I just had three hours of sleep. My New Media class is haunting me. Promise, babawi ako.

I went home early (first time since forever) and got sick along the way. BTW thanks Blue Taxi for the smooth ride. I got home, slept, ate, went through my thesis, and now I am still staring at a blank Word document thank you.

A sis told me about a stupid Facebook note which set my blood to a boiling point. Well, almost.

But this. This blog just made my day. There's nothing better than a good friend making a fan testimonial of you. Just kidding. You of all people should know that I'm not expressive. But yeah, it means a lot to me. :)

no sleep

2010-01-27T20:26:00.000+08:00

I'm currently on thesis fever.

No, actually, I'd be making my thesis for the first time. And it's now 4:23 am, Thursday.

And it's due tomorrow.

I haven't even started yet. I don't know how.

Crap.

This is what I get for totally messing up my priorities.

PS: I just read a story made by an ex (crush!) and it still gives me the creeps up to this very moment.

And yes, I do mess up my priorities.

Oh what should I do, what should I do...

under discretion

2010-01-23T12:27:00.000+08:00

I didn't think it was possible to be all hyped up on the outside and feel way down on the inside. All at the same time.

These days have been a whirlwind. The only time I have sat still at home was back on Christmas vacation. And January's almost done. (OMG! My thesis!)

Anyway, that's not the point. I love being busy. I thrive on catching activities one after the other, or sometimes, one over the other. I never seem to run out of energy.

But you, you seem to drain my energy. And I don't know if I mean it in a bad way. I don't know. I don't understand. I'm actually in a state of confusion (and denial, as usual, right now).

I have been trying to render you invisible, which seems to be working. Of course, I could just be fooling with myself. But it doesn't feel good to see you doing the same.

And the fact that I'm not ready to tell this to anyone (or at least, not yet) doesn't feel good either.

circus

2010-01-13T16:27:00.000+08:00

I am getting too attached to you.

For many reasons I know I shouldn't be.

What is the opposite of attach?

Detach?

Yes that's it.

I find it hard to do.

Oh freaky crap.

I don't know how not to get too attached.

Afraid that I might already be.

And you are not making it easy.

I need help.

Badly.

* I would like to make a special shoutout to George. Remember the talk we had a loooong time ago about attachment issues? I need to talk to you about it again. There's something we have to talk about anyway, right? Now that you can take a break from your thesis, I'll corner you.

slacker go away

2010-01-13T16:00:00.000+08:00

I have been slacking off ever since this semester started. Scratch that. I have been slacking off since the beginning of this academic year. I hate it.

I hate it because I decided to go home today to start my thesis once and for all. And I haven't done a single thing yet. Ugh.

My mind is too full of things, mostly extra-curricular. I actually don't like the feeling of leaving my acads behind but I don't know. Somehow it slips to the bottom of my priority list.

Today I went home to tell my mother I want to go back living in Mintal (after almost 2 years of living at home). And right away she said, "Okay, kailan ka magstart? Ikaw bahala basta feeling mo makabubuti sa studies mo."

OMG. Guilt ultra level up.

But I can't help it. Suddenly school doesn't seem so cool anymore.

To the future boyfriend

2010-01-05T08:00:00.000+08:00

or suitor of Teena.

First of all, you should know that you will have to compete with a lot of her other priorities. She may have agreed to have a relationship with you, yes, but keep in mind that she will not ignore her previous responsibilities just so she will have more time with you. She cares so much for her family so don't expect to be given more importance than them.

Aside from her family in GenSan, she still has a lot of obligations in UP. She is an active member of the student council, the very same council she has been serving for what, three years now? She is also a beloved sis in Pi Sigma- Pi Sigma Delta. That's a whole lot of people you're dealing with. And of course, you will have to seek approval from her Uber Friends. Keep in mind that we have very strong personalities.

She lives in a boarding house (the frat/soro house specifically) so it's actually okay for you to visit her everyday. No parents! But we'll be there so behave. Then again, even if you do plan on doing something, remember Teena is very conservative. She may appear clingy (well she is) but don't ever attempt on doing something beyond her limits. Wait for her.

She loves books. I think she likes reading more than watching movies. If you are really persistent, buy these not for her but for you to read: Haruki Murakami, Bob Ong, Ricky Lee (and a loooot of other Filipino authors), Mitch Albom, Young Blood, what else... Also, stock on Kiko Machine comics. And Precious Hearts romances hahaha.

She likes taking pictures. Cooperate! Also, take random pictures of her. She'll like it.

She drinks in moderation. As in moderation. So it's not a good idea to take her out to a night of drinking. If she agrees though and she gets drunk, bring her back to Pi House. Don't bring her to your place. You can stay overnight if you want. Also, she quit smoking last year. If you don't want to hear her nag, please don't smoke in front of her. I should know. Trust me.

She is a neat freak. Don't act like a total slob. If you happen to make a mess, clean it up. Immediately.

If you happen to have a fight or an argument, just wait for her to calm down. Give her a day or two.

You can buy her chocolates but believe me, she'd be happier if you brought her a tub of ice cream (preferably the Selecta Gold ones) and more importantly, spaghetti. She'd devour it in no time. Spaghetti's the key for a better relationship.

Let her talk. She's a good listener but I think that happens by default because I'm a blabber. This time, you be the listener, okay? Be a good one, too. Always remember what she says because she'll remember what you say.

She's not high maintenance. When buying her things, they don't need to be really expensive. Just choose what looks best on her, or what she would surely use. Her taste is really girly. Don't buy her anything masculine. She won't use it.

Listen to her favorite songs. Also, be armed with a wide array of music in your mp3 player, phone, laptop, whatever. Let her listen to your playlist. Take note of her favorite picks and play it the next time you're together.

She seldom cries so she would never do that for no reason. She won't tell you the reason though, unless you pester her. Super pester. If you succeed, she'll tell you maybe not immediately but in due time.

She loves corny jokes. She loves corny hirits. Arm yourself with a lot of them. I'm not kidding.

Also, she's bipolar, but she never admits it. If you have a short patience, practice. In no time, you'll get used to her massive mood swings :P

And for crying out loud, buy her lotion, a'right?

Lastly, remember, you're her first serious boyfriend. Love her because she'll love you so much. Take care of her because you can always count on her to be thoughtful.

And don't forget dates. She never forgets important dates. Hurt her and you'll see an army of boys, girls and gays outside your gate. Ohmygawd, it rhymed. Hahaha.

To one of my best friends, mwre and sis, happy happy birthday!!!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="210" caption="this is teena :)"][/caption]

01.01.10

2010-01-01T10:30:00.000+08:00

I love it. The date looks like a binary code. Okay, geek alert :D

In all honesty, my New Year celebration last night wasn't a blast. First, I made pa-load (oops sorry) AllText20, which is equivalent to a hundred text messages. Guess what? I was only able to send around fifteen messages. Panic mode. Panic mode. My brother went to buy load for me. Guess what? It never came. I was able to greet a grand total of twelve people last night. I was so pissed off. I know it may not be a big deal for others but it is a big one for me.

Second. I went to this street party at my village. All my friends weren't there. Thanks a lot. My mother and sister came and they stayed. My brother went to another party. My father was at home, sleeping. I was doing nothing there so I went back home. Seeing that my father wouldn't wake up no matter what, I opened a bottle of wine, popped the cork and all. I opened the big box of Ferrero chocolates and ate two. I ended up watching Harold and Kumar 2. Haha what a night.

Midnight came and the entire family decided to join me for Media Noche. After that, we watched Kimmy Dora until 2 am. Wild night huh? After finishing the movie, they all went to sleep aside from me. I stayed awake all night and went to sleep at around 6.

At least I was able to see the first sunrise of the year :) No pictures though; the camera was lowbat. I only have this.

[caption id="attachment_526" align="aligncenter" width="132" caption="me eating a lollipop. okay this isn't my most flattering pic, i know"][/caption]

I used to have a set of resolutions every year. From dieting to studying harder, from quitting alcohol to saving money. This year I only have one. I had so much fun late in 2009 that I decided that this year, I will try more new things. I will discover more of me. I will do whatever I want to do as long as it doesn't hurt me or other people.

2009 have been relatively new, different from the previous years. I think I changed a lot this year. I did a lot of new things, I had a lot of new friends. 2009 has not been entirely good, though. Negative people and negative emotions abound. Then again, I have trouble remembering the negative. All I can think of now are the good memories I made this year with my favorite people. Of course you know who you are. All I can think of now is going back to school and making more memories for 2010.

Sabi nga ng Oasis, Don't Look Back in Anger.

Mabuhay 2010!

isang gabing...

2009-12-29T15:00:00.000+08:00

wala kaming magawa ni Krista at Perper.

Naisip naming maglaro.

Ng hiritan.

Mabuti na lang at offline si Teena. Hahaha!

ROUND 1

Maan: I love my SISSES!

Perper: Ako diay?

Maan: Di ko maaaring sabihin dito. Alam mo namang bawal.

Perper: I-PM mo na lang.

Maan: Ayokong mapahamak ka.

Perper: Sige naiintindihan ko.

Maan: Basta alam mo na yun.

Perper: Oo, titiisin ko na lang ang pangungulila.

Winner- Perper!

ROUND 2 (Manonood daw ng PBB si Lenin)

Krista: Manonood kayong lahat ng TV? Iiwan nyo na naman ako?

Maan: Bakit Krista? Kelan kita iniwan?

Krista: Hindi mo napapansin pero lagi nyo akong iniiwan.

Maan: I never left. You just stopped feeling my presence.

Krista: Because yes, you were there but your mind was elsewhere.

Maan: Iba man ang iniisip ko, kayo pa rin ang laman ng puso ko.

Krista: Sino nga ba ang laman ng isip mo?

Maan: Aw, ayaw na ta dira (Wag na tayo jan)

Winner- Krista!

ROUND 3

Maan: Nagtext si Ian de Castro.

Krista: Ano daw?

Maan: Belated Merry Christmas sis. Hay naku.

Krista: Umandar na naman ang Sigman brain.

Maan: Dahil ang Sigman brain, laging delayed.

Krista: Humirit ka naman tol. (to Perper)

Perper: I therefore conclude may sakit kayong dalawa.

Krista: Kung sakit ang pagiging magaling sa paggamit ng mga salita, eh may sakit talaga kami

Winner- Krista!

ROUND 4 (Lilipat daw si Perper sa sala nila)

(after several minutes) Perper: False alarm. Dili pa ko pwede sa sala.

Maan: Aw. Dito ka nalang sa puso ko.

Perper: Matagal ko ng gustong pumasok sa puso mo, pero may laman na itong iba

Maan: Sigurado ka? Ni hindi ka man lang sumilip

(After mga 2 minutes)

Perper: Naa na gani unod! Hastang garaa!

Maan: Taena! Silip sa bintana eh!

Winner- Wala, pikon man!

ROUND 5

Krista: Pwede bang makihati? Makirenta lang ng lugar sa puso mo?

Maan: Kahit anong mangyari may lugar kayo sa puso ko.

Krista: Char

Maan: Ay?

Krista: Oh eto na. Ang puso moy parang outer space, maraming space para sa mga taong minamahal mo.

Maan: Nakakalungkot lang dahil kayo'y mga astronaut. Babalik at babalik rin kayo sa mundo.

Winner- Maan!

Pahabol ni Perper: POKEMON ka ba? kasi I CHOOSE YOU

Happy New Year!

this is depressing

2009-12-28T08:26:00.000+08:00

This is actually the first day since Christmas break started that NOBODY invited me to go out. As in nobody.

(Then again, even if somebody did invite me, I'm utterly broke.)

As of 4pm, I only received four messages, all of which were GMs.

My mother and brother are out, working.

My sister is playing, duh. My father is downstairs watching DVDs.

I'm stuck with my computer.

It's boring. Even the weather's boring. No heat, no rain, no nothing.

And most of all, being home with nothing to do leaves me one choice: THESIS.

Ugh. I hate this.

Almost goodbye, 2009

2009-12-25T18:44:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas y'all!

This has been a really great Christmas vacation. Partypeopleyeah mode on!

It's six days before 2009 officially says goodbye so I thought of making a list of the highlights of my year. Warning: This is another loooong post.

JANUARY 2009 - Radio Prod at its finest. I was Kris Aquino in radio- life. Err.. Boring January

FEBRUARY 2009 - It's RareJob time! I remember not being able to go out on Valentine's Day because that's my interview schedule. A few days after that, my schedule was opened and alas, so many Japaneses! :D

MARCH 2009 - I revived my blog in vain, after writing just one post. Francis M died on March 6. March 7, the day after, was the Eraserheads Final Set. I almost died while watching the videos online. Of course I could not go. I had no moolah and it's the last month of second sem. Meaning, soo many things to do. Then again, on the night before our Crisis Comm panel, Pupil held a concert in Damosa. Who were we not to go? We went there, bathed in the rain, made total fun of ourselves, worshipped Ely Buendia (in my case) and sung like mad people!

APRIL 2009 - Summer! April 1 officially started my summer vacation. Exams ended on the last week of March but I chose to stay in Mintal for a couple of nights to have a gore-movie-marathon with the uber friends. Totally monotonous summer: Rarejob, Skype conference chat with friends, Facebook, yogurt, Korean series...

MAY 2009 - I tried to "re-revive" my blog in Blogspot. It was total blogorhea! I wrote about anything, everything, nothing, as in! Shortly, my friends Teena and George followed. We (I?) became serious bloggers :D

JUNE 2009 - My birth month! Uber friends gathered in the far-flung mountains of Cabantian to celebrate my birthday. And then it was time to go back to school. We were officially seniors :) AH5 became one of my most favorite subjects in my college life. ~~And of course, he came back~~ Uh, noooo. And Michael Jackson died :(

JULY 2009 - I began worrying about my thesis. I repeat, worrying. Freshmen night was held again in UP for the first time in two years. Tama ba? I remember my brods and sisses (neophytes pa?) and I eating dinner at Mami's (a beerhouse in Mintal) around 2am. Rarejob Lunch Gathering, too! We ate a lot, hehe. And I sort of got over someone. Imma big liar.

AUGUST 2009 - My mother created an FB account, to my horror. Some nosy bitches began threatening the confraternity, but we made it through, like duh. And I cut my hair! Really short, after so many years of having a long hair. I changed my thesis topic ~~which confirmed my kewl factor~~ haha. Joined KSUP in UPMin and got to go to a community in Tamayong. And yes, I proved to everyone I was as clumsy as heck.

SEPTEMBER 2009 - I began liking a loser. Regrets, regrets! Six people were added to the confraternity (amid all the issues and stuff). The aforementioned loser acted like a loser and made me cry. I get disgusted just thinking about it! Haha. I went back to smoking. We had a kewl rally against GMA.

OCTOBER 2009 - Another person was added to the confraternity, hehe. The semester was almost ending and so I was not able to sleep for weeks. Explains my eyebags. We also had our batchbook launching. I had my thesis defense and thesis plenary in one month. It almost killed me. Good thing I was able to survive. The semester ended well (if not for the many echuseras around me). I had an uno in AH5 and I even managed to get on the Dean's List. Aww.Part two of October involves the sem break. Who would not forget Reg's birthday in Puan? My gawd, I won't! Haha

NOVEMBER 2009 - Second semester. I wasn't that crazy about my subjects. I like Film Prod though. And yeah, I reaffirmed my feelings toward him. Oh God, why am I such a cheesy person? I need salvation. Anywaaay, yeah. This month was also the birth of the superhero pose, when George, Reg and I were drinking Tanduay on a cold afternoon, right before my meeting with the CSM- SC candidates. Good job, Maan. Hahaha. The confraternity also had the sem starter. Super fun!

DECEMBER 2009 - Mintal perya! Sadly, I was only able to go there twice. First, with Alvin, Bobbie and Tomas after UP Night, and second, with Tomas, Perper, Krista, Nassefh, Drobert and Doods after the inter-org meeting. December was party-ful and Pi-ful. We became fond of walking around Mintal at midnight. Two people were added again to the confraternity and we drank after. Of course, who would forget the night before my two exams session? We jammed the Deviance Night away (which I attended tipsy). The night after Kasadya was also real fun. We went to Dover Lanes for bowling, and went to K1 for singing and disco-ing, haha. Christmas vacation was Tine-ful. My money totally went down the drain because we always ate out in restaurants and made tambay in coffee shops. For our Film Production script. Which was a major as if. But I'm not complaining!

Happy holidays!

password protected

2009-12-22T14:58:00.000+08:00

Hambalan lang tamo sang password sa akong latest na blog sa baba. Nabal-an man gud sang mama ko akong blog. Delikades.

no regrets

2009-12-18T17:38:00.000+08:00

I have done crazy things in the recent past and I know I hurt some people because of what I did.

I have been drinking ever since my age began to have the suffix -teen. When I was in high school, we drink after exams, after events, on ordinary days. We even cut our afternoon classes to go to our classmate's house to drink. But we graduated with flying chuva. When I entered college, I tried to minimize my drinking. In fairness, there are times when it's not hard to decline an invitation for a drink from my friends. Then again, there are times when you become so tired of the monotony and just want to let go.

A few days ago, last Monday actually, I was back in Mintal and stayed in the Pi House. I went there supposedly to study with Teena for our 2 major exams the following day. We were caught up with council activities though and were not able to go home until around 8:30 pm. Lots of people from BA Anthropology were in the house that night so we weren't able to study. Me and my two brods, Ian and Perper, were on the terrace when Ian brought up the topic of experiencing new things. He got a cigarette, removed the filter, lit it and handed it to me. Perper and I took turns puffing on it.

Ian was hyper that night and wanted to do something else. So around 10:30 that night, we went down to Mintal and ate balut. I thought that we were just going to walk around the area (like we always do) when Ian suggested we drink. I was hesitant at first because I do have exams the following day but the fun- loving Maan got the better of me. (See? I'm a Gemini. I always have two sides)

So we drank and got drunk. And I mean really drunk. Ian puked on my feet. When we got to our fourth grande, Perper said he's stopping because at least one of us needs to come home sober. Then he puked. But it was me who got really wasted. I slipped on the floor, ruined my shorts and basically made the two laugh. I'm stopping there. I refuse to ruin our reputation by writing the other things we did.

The ending was that it was me who got really wasted. I crawled upstairs and cried because Teena scolded me. :D Ian and Perper tried to put me to sleep and knowing me, I probably gave them a hard time. I remember Perper sitting by the bed and Ian getting a plastic bag. Ugh. Dili lagi ko magsuka oi. After that, I transferred to the banig at the living room. The two pulled chairs and sat by me. After that the world went black.

The next morning, I woke up and was told that they left at around 6am. I looked at myself and saw that my eye bags were larger than my actual eyes. Nice. I took a bath and went to George's boarding house to study. I received a call from Ian, making sure that I wake up on time and study for my exams. At school, I saw Perper sporting eye bags too (smaller than mine though) and swore he did not sleep a blink so they could watch over me.

Basically I'm touched.

To Perper and Ian, thanks really. We'll drink again next time, but I'll be the one to make bantay na. Haha. To Teena, well I'm sorry but you know me. I'm kaladkarin and I live for the moment. It's hard to understand but I've got to have these kinds of experiences in order to learn.

I have committed so many mistakes, but see, I'm still alive ~~and partying~~. No seriously, in my opinion, getting hurt does not set you for a major trauma. Au contraire, it keeps you on your toes. Getting hurt prepares you for more experiences along the way.

doubting

2009-12-17T13:36:00.000+08:00

What if I know I can finish my thesis but I never got around to actually starting it?

What if there are still so many things I wanted to do before I graduate?

What if I'm still having so much fun with my brods and sisses who are yet to graduate?

What if I'm afraid that when I graduate I won't see him anymore?

What if I'm not yet prepared for life outside the university?

Suddenly it doesn't seem as if I'm afraid of not graduating on time.

Suddenly, I am confronted with a desire to continue my thesis next semester.

Suddenly, the thought of leaving UP does not seem so happy anymore.

Suddenly, attending all the events next school year seems like a good thing.

Suddenly, I forget my corporate dreams and just want to stay in UP.

I am not sure if this is just one of my teenage (as if!) insecurities but that's honestly what I feel now. If parents don't get mad at their children who do not graduate on time then I won't have any problem.

Sigh.

busybee

2009-12-13T13:04:00.000+08:00

Imma make a long blog today to make up for the non-blogging week.

I'm really deadbeat tired today. The whole week last week was full of activities, most fun, some just plain tiresome. I stayed in my brods and sisses' boarding house for the whole week and just dropped by my house to fetch some clothes and then off to Mintal again. Busy, busy, busy.

Segue: Black Marlboro is back and alive in Mintal. :D

Classes usually start Tuesdays but for straight weeks I have to go to school on Mondays. Last week, our class in Film Production was requested to help organize the Mindanao Film Festival or MFF. That was quite fun, it lasted for about 3 hours and featured 14 short films made by (young) Davaoenos. My goal is for our short film to be featured next year. Mark my words. :) I did not get to finish it because I got bored by the last three films and just went to Lorenzo Hall to join the Inter- council meeting. After that, my brods and sisses and I ate dinner at a barbecue-han by the highway and went to Pi house to wait for our kaka- birthday lang sis Krista and her treat. Later on that night, we feasted on champagne, Red Ribbon cakes and ice cream!

Tuesday was the same. Same boring class (oops!), same yosi break. By afternoon, we went to the second day of MFF. Did not finish it because I got bored again. Made tambay. By 5:30 that afternoon I went to the Inter- org meeting.My brod Perper invited me to go to Mintal since it was fiesta day. After eating dinner with Perper, Nassefh, and Krista, we were joined by Tumas, Ervin and Doods and we went to the ukay-ukay. I scored a lovely pair of pumps for only 50 effin' pesos. Mintal is soooo cool. After that, we went to the perya. Perper never got to ride a ferris wheel in his entire 18 years of existence and so I agreed to ride with him. No comment na lang ako. Hahaha. We tried playing games and won chichirya and then we bought those uso lollipops that glow in the dark. By around 9:30 we started walking home. Krista, Doods, Ervin and Nassefh rode a tricycle while Perper, Tumas and I decided to just walk because Pi House was just a few blocks away. Perper and I started walking when we noticed that Tumas joined the tricycle group. Okaaay? Hahaha. Perper and I were supposed to study together for our paper in Philosophy but by the time we got home, we were overcome with laziness. We read but I failed to give my full attention to it. In the end, I ended up just listening to Perper's explanations. Then again, we decided not to do our paper. Mabuhay ang Paragon!

Wednesday was full of anticipation. I skipped all my classes because I had to go home because I did not have clothes anymore. I came back to the hills of Mintal by 5:30 that afternoon, just in time with my meeting with Pi Sigma- Pi Sigma Delta. That night, too, when we went home to Pi House, the entire place was flooded by garbage bags, cartolina, packaging thingy, bubble wrap, shoes, clothes, jeans, scissors, scotch tape, etc. I leave the etc. to your imagination.

Thursday morning was full of preparation. Deviance Day is here! It's the day (organized by Dugong Antro people) wherein everybody is encouraged to dress and act beyond ordinary and customary. The Anthropology people in Pi House had to go early to school to prepare for the event. Tumas went to school wearing a garbage bag dress and Chary wore a yellow mosquito net. Cool no? Me, I did not have guts to do that so I decided on going to school wearing a black mini-dress, black leggings and my black pumps. Deviance Night was so cool (even if I attended the event tipsy :D ). We ~~jumped~~ danced on the dance floor until midnight. Like Cinderella, I left the chaos ten minutes before midnight because I suddenly remembered I had an exam in Biodiversity and an overdue paper for Philosophy tomorrow.

Friday was another day. I scribbled my Philosophy paper around 1am and fell asleep. My Philosophy class was 8:30 in the morning but I knew I had to skip this class again. I gave my paper to Teena and studied for my exam. I did well, I think, even though I studied for just an hour tops. Anyway, for most of the afternoon, I just hanged out in George's boarding house. 5:30 that afternoon I bailed and went to Pi House for our final interview with the __. It ended at 10pm. After eating dinner, my sis Ting suggested we walk around Mintal. And so around 11:30 that night, me, Ian, Ting, Perper, Alvin, Red, Darlene and Bobbie made "ronda" around Mintal hahaha. Every time we pass by a "Slow Down" sign, we also walk really slowly. We got tired and by midnight we went to Mintal Park. They played on the swing set and pretty much disturbed everyone. Chary and Teena joined us then. Later a drunk man invited us all to play for a boxing match tomorrow. Right. We then decided it's time to go home. When we arrived at Pi House, Chary wanted to watch a movie. We had no other movie, only Aliens in the Attic. And so Teena, Chary, Bobbie, Alvin, Perper and I sat on the mat at the living room to watch. Alvin got his bubble wrap and we popped ~~loudly~~ while watching. Bobbie immediately fell asleep. Alvin followed. Later Perper got his handkerchief from his bag. I know that's the sign that he's gonna fall asleep soon. Why? Secret. Teena and I said at the same time "Sigmans down!". Later, I asked Perper to move aside and slept beside the salivating boy. Oops! Only Teena and Chary ended watching the movie.

Saturday started around 10am when we ate brunch. Then I sat by the terrace and smoked my pack of lights and thought about life. Not! Well, actually, I was thinking of doing my thesis storyboard when Alvin came out and joined me. We ended up staying there and I forgot about my acad troubles. Later we watched up, Alvin and Perper wrestled by the kitchen, waited for the __ and other brods and sisses and by 1pm we started our final rehearsals. We ended around 6pm and ate dinner. Cecile suggested we go to DatCom that night and by 11:30 we walked to Mintal again. We (me, Alvin, Ian, Tumas, Darlene, Ting, Bobbie, Cecile, Philip, McMonde, Teena, Chary, Dolly, Lenin) found ourselves drinking bottles of mango sling. We got addicted to McMonde's camera and took pictures all night. We also sang songs and made fun of Philip through singing. Peace yo!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="408" caption="kami minus mcmonde behind the cam"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="356" caption="major LOL moment ako nito. sayang wala si perper :P"][/caption]

Sunday I went home. Peace and quiet once again :)

LSS

2009-12-06T11:36:00.000+08:00

Wala lang.

interesting

2009-12-05T14:33:00.000+08:00

Today, my mama and papa made up. I'm not sure if it's today, perhaps yesterday. I havent' been around the house for some days now and was actually avoiding it. I think the "peace and quiet" they have without me helped. Haha

Anyway, here are some bits of interesting conversations I had today:

Situation 1: Me + some brods (sisses = Deltans, brods = Sigmans)

Me: Oh tara, meeting na ta Sigmans.

Brods: Feeler, dili man ka Sigman.

Me: Sige lang gud para enjoy.

Brods: Fine.

Me: Wait! Unsa man daw plural sa Sigman?

Brods: Uh, Sigmans?

Me: Dili!

Brods: Unsa?

Me: Sigmen!

Situation 2: Me + some brods were riding in a very, very kaskasero jeepney. The driver was thinking he was part of a drag race. As in, pray for yer life passengers! 2 brods already left, I was left in the evil jeepney. The jeepney stops at a red light by Ateneo. Me and a couple were to go down across the street, as in tabok. The konduktor, thank you very much, told us to just go down in front of Ateneo and just cross the street by ourselves. Why? So that when the stop light turns green, they don't have to stop again across the street.

Konduktor: Diri na lang mo baba aron mo-diretso na among dagan sa tabok.

Couple: (goes down without questions)

Konduktor: Ikaw miss? Sa tabok ka?

Me: Oo, sa tabok ko.

Konduktor: Diri na lang naog miss.

Me: Ngano man?

Konduktor: Kay magdiretso na lagi mi og dagan.

Me: Ngano man diay? Kung diri sa Ateneo akong tuyo, diri unta ko mopara. Didto man ko sa tabok magsakay kaya didto ko monaog.

Konduktor: Baktasa na lang gud miss.

Me: Kung magbaktas ko, wala na unta ko nagsakay. Ambi na akong pliti.

Konduktor: Tabok daw brad!

Driver: (grumbles unintelligibly, disrespectfully, budots- ly)

When the stoplight turned green, he drove super fast. He missed my stop and I shouted "para!". The jeepney still didn't stop. I banged on the walls (?) and yelled "para!" The jeepney stopped.

Me: Putang ina! Ana ko sa tabok lang piste! Litse!

Situation 3: I was supposed to go home early morning today, but due to insistent public demand (actually, my laziness) I did not go home until 6pm. I walked home with a lightning speed (everybody says owwws???), arrived around 8pm and expected to be given double scolding for the night.

Papa: Oh ba't andito ka?

Me: Ha?

Papa: Kumain ka na?

Me: Hindi pa. Hindi kayo galit?

Papa: Kasi?

Me: Kasi late akong umuwi?

Papa: Ha? Akala ko nga nasa boarding house ka at bukas ka pa uuwi.

Me: (dumbfounded. I have been going home to our own house and not in a boarding house for like, two years now)

happy

2009-12-03T14:22:00.000+08:00

I want to think happy thoughts tonight because I had a bad day.

I don't want to think about my parents.

I don't want to think about annoying classmates, thank you very much.

I don't want to think about the issues involving my friends.

I don't want to think about my love life, which is nonexistent by the way.

I don't want to think about my thesis, which I haven't started yet.

I don't want to think about how many people I am avoiding at school, and vice versa. haha

Because I am happy.

Not.

putang galamay (Enriquez, 2009)

Ugh.

God ko, maiba naman tayo. Pwede pabawas naman ng problema, kahit isa lang?

Tutal papalapit na ang Pasko. :(

serbis

2009-12-01T16:14:00.000+08:00

je t'aime

Maghahanap pa ako ng kopya ko ng Serbis.

'Di ko masyadong naaninag ang katawan ni Coco Martin kanina.

Oh well papel, nagbibisi- bisihan kasi.

Babawi ako bukas Coco Martin!

:oops:

nagpaparamdam...

2009-11-30T04:37:00.000+08:00

...na ang thesis ko.

Iniiwasan ko na adviser ko kasi ni katiting wala pa akong nasisimulan. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung pano sisimulan at kung saan magsisimula.

Ang plano ko pa, pagkatapos ng sem starter namin ng mga kapatid ko sa Pi Sigma- Pi Sigma Delta ay magpu-full force na ako sa pagbanat.

Kaso pag- uwi ko ng bahay nung Sabado ng umaga (mga alas siete yata yun) eh nakatulog na ako. Gumising ako bandang tanghali para kumain tapos natulog na naman ako. Nagising ako mga alas sais ng gabi para kumain na naman, pagkatapos ay natulog ako. Plano kong gumising nang madaling araw kaso pagmulat ng mata ko, Linggo na pala.

Hindi ko rin sya nagawa kahit andito lang ako sa bahay nung Linggo. Kasi naaliw ako sa pagsosolitaryo. Hindi sa computer ha. Nakita ko kasi yung matagal ko nang nawawalang baraha de Casino.

Ngayon naman eh ginagawa ko ang aking reflection paper sa Philosophy. Mamayang konti, aalis ulit ako ng bahay para bumili ng _. Tapos mamayang gabi, makikipagkita pa ako sa mga kandidato sa susunod na elekyon sa bayan ng CSM.

Goodbye graduation na nga ba? T'yak papatayin ako ni mama pag nalaman nyang plano kong i-drop ang thesis.

OMG. Hindeeee!!! Kaya ko to. Aja!

on a lighter note

2009-11-26T14:44:00.000+08:00

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

Please don't mind me if I write this here. I just can't say it in person.

Isa pa, all together now

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

Tama na, OA na

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

animals

2009-11-25T16:16:00.000+08:00

[caption id="attachment_453" align="aligncenter" width="376" caption="Black Ribbon: Justice for the Victims of the Ampatuan Massacre"][/caption]

The number of bodies recovered as of now in Maguindanao is already 57.

I don't know any of these people. I haven't even stepped on the soil of Maguindanao. I know not one Ampatuan nor one Mangundadatu.

But I am deeply affected.

Because the Ampatuans are precisely the reason why my parent's won't let me pursue my childhood dream of becoming a journalist.

Because I have been a proud Mindanawon. Until now.

Because I always have had a high respect for my Muslim brothers and sisters, no matter how mainstream media seemed to portray them.

Because it's not fair.

Because it's demonic.

Because no justice is served, and I have a feeling it will remain that way. That these bloodthirsty killers will remain free and unscathed. Because they are the untouchables.

Well, fuck you!

You killed innocent people: those lawyers, women, civilians, media men.

And what did you prove?

You only proved that you are worthless, barbaric pieces of shit that the Philippines doesn't need.

Hindi na kayo nahiya.

:)

2009-11-24T16:31:00.000+08:00

Someday you will write poetry for me.

And I will write for you, too.

*head in the air mode*

Good night. :)

of bad boys and realizations

2009-11-14T12:08:00.000+08:00

First of all, forgive my last post. I was just in a drunken state of mind, albeit without the alcohol. I was just confused. Anyway, it's not as if my mind already cleared. Perhaps I will always be in this perpetual state of confusion.

I did a lot of thinking yesterday, after I watched Paranormal Activity (no comment!) with George, Teena, JM, Reg, Alvin and Thomas. We finished the movie at around 2 am and George, Reg, JM and I braved Mintal for some shatting. I served gunner for them while they doused their livers with SMB and perfumed their lungs with Marlboro.

Segue: I am proud to say that during that night, I only ate a cheeseburger from Minute Burger (yours truly) and a can of Pepsi. :)

Okay, so I did a lot of thinking. I realized that the feelings I have for the boy in the last post were just anger and hurt. Nothing else, thank God. I also realized that I will always have feelings for the guy I have liked almost ever since I entered college. If you are a close friend, you'd have no problem guessing who this one is.

The other day, when George, Teena and I cut classes (oops, sorry sir!), George casually mentioned that for her, the feeling of being in love will always feel good, even if it hurts, even if it's unrequited. I realized that it's true, even in my case.

With a sudden jolt (haha char ba?), I realized that I can be perfectly content on viewing him as the most ideal person for me. He has this bad boy aura but he isn't really. He doesn't smoke, almost never drinks (though I won't have any problem with these things). He's cocky, he's arrogant, he's talented and he knows it. But I like it anyway.

We haven't talked for two years maybe, and I won't even be surprised if he doesn't remember my name anymore. But I'm content with just remembering the things he did for me before. For me, it's perfectly fine.

I'm still surprised though that I can maintain these feelings for him. I don't know how one person can feel something this intense toward a person whom she doesn't even know that much. But I guess this makes my own story, different from my friends', different from anybody else's.

Now I am preparing myself to be tormented by my uber friends. Expect me to play denial queen if you tease me, as always, but I already told the truth in this post.

go away

2009-11-10T15:17:00.000+08:00

How come everything you do

always results to me being more and more confused?

Ano ba.

Stop being unpredictable.

Stop being predictable.

Stop confusing me.

(MSC: Quit playing games with my heart...)

Hahahaha.

Ugh.

You're not even my type,

but I'm kind of bothered why you don't talk to me anymore?

Sorry friends.

There are things which I simply can't make myself tell you.

I know you don't approve.

Promise, I also don't approve. :P

I also know it's really stupid.

But I can't help it.

Now I've got to sleep because I have a freaking 8:30 am class tomorrow.

Crap.

'Night.

random thoughts

2009-11-07T12:40:00.000+08:00

I just can't take it when people say or write the following:

1. STUFFS

The word "stuffs" can only be grammatically correct if it is used as a verb, as in "Marie stuffs her bag with her books". As a noun? No can do. There is no plural form for the noun "stuff".

2. OFFENSEMENT

Hello? Some people actually write this word. First, offense is already a noun; no need to add a suffix. Two, it is forgivable for the term to be spoken, thus the phrase "no offense meant". As in. It's not a word, it's a phrase.

3. THE LIKES

There's nothing wrong with this really. I just ~~get annoyed~~ prefer to use the phrase "the like".

4. ...A $EntEnZ LiKE tHi$ oNE... <",>

Hello.

5. I DO

It's grammatically correct but sometimes I do get annoyed when people do overuse the word "do" in their sentences. While I do respect your opinion on that matter, I do believe that your sentences will be complete without the do's. Yes, exactly Mr. Speaker.

Post- grad

2009-11-04T16:31:00.000+08:00

These are some of the things I'd like to do after I graduate. IF I do.

- Go on a road trip with my Uber friends.

Tine and I planned this late last year. We gathered eight other friends and agreed to pay a thousand bucks per month to cover the expenses. Payment was supposed to start January of this year, which was moved to the opening of classes last June, and was eventually canceled because a thousand pesos per month is too much for students like us.

But then, the other day, when Reg, Tine and I were hanging out at our tambayan by the atrium (we were actually in school to enroll but we eventually got tired of it and decided to just hang out), Tine brought up that Caine, her boyfriend, volunteered to be our driver. Tine apparently didn't have the heart to tell him that the trip was already canceled. I suggested we still pursue the trip but we didn't have to go far. For some reason, we all thought it would be cool to drive to Cagayan de Oro and then take a boat ride to Bohol. Oh well, let's see :D

- Take driving lessons

We (Uber friends jampong) will be enrolling in a driving school next summer. Haha, I can already imagine all of us panic- driving!

- Vote

Yeah, because I'm cool like that. You should be voting, too. :D Although I still have no idea on whom to vote. Ugh.

- Get really drunk. Downtown.

I have my ~~more than~~ fair share of drunken moments. Scratch that. I think I have only been super drunk thrice in my life (which I remember by being teased mercilessly about it the following day). On most occasions, whenever I start to get tipsy, I stop drinking and try to breathe fresh air. Or not. Sometimes, to sober up I would talk to my friends about emo topics (haha) and the like and then begin to drink again once the tipsiness goes away.

Two of the three times I have been drunk all occurred in UP boarding houses. One was in Door 1, Zozobrado back in second year, when we drank Tagaka I think. Tagaka is a mixture of Tanduay, coffee and condensed milk. The one mixing it should be really good so that it tastes like Bailey's. Otherwise, it would end up as a mini- disaster, just like the one we drank that fateful night.

The other was when we were in Door 2, Chiongs Apt. We were in third year and I remember Jeje punching (yes, punching) all of us, mad at us because we all looked like Blaise. Right. And we were laughing. Then Jeje, in all her frustration, threw a monobloc chair down the stairs. We all laughed. After that, I couldn't remember anything. They said I keep on asking who Tonton was. Haha. Shh.

And the third one occurred the other week, in Reg's house. You know, this post. Err, no comment. :P

I want to try getting drunk downtown. Where my friends would be embarrassed to be seen with me. Haha love it!

- Live somewhere else.

Okay, so this does not fall into the same category as the other four. Last year, I convinced my friends to go live with me in Makati after we graduate. As if I had somewhere to live in Makati. But then, a classmate told me that in the future, Luzon would disappear from the map completely. Afraid. I told that to my friends so they would have to change their minds, too.

But I need to live somewhere else. It's not that I don't enjoy living in our house. It's just that I think it wouldn't make a difference if I were already working but still living with my parents. Davao City is still, in my opinion, one of the best places in the world and perhaps I would just get another apartment. Or I may go to another place. Bacolod is good. It's a really friendly city. I am also considering Bohol. I have been itching to go to Bohol like, forever. Maybe there's nothing extraordinary in the place, but it's like there's something there which I have to see. Or someone?

Yikes, sobrang cheesy!

[caption id="attachment_412" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Taken on a barge to Camiguin. "][/caption]

Yes. Someday I'll finish my thesis, wear the toga and get my diploma from the Chancellor's hands. Then I'll run away. :D

weird

2009-10-30T11:37:00.000+08:00

I tried Googling my name earlier, (hello? define BORED) and I was shocked to see it on a Friendster blog. I opened it, of course, and I had no idea who the blogger was.

To my shock and embarrassment, I saw a short story in an entry. It had my name on it as the writer. At first, I didn't believe it. I could not recall writing such a story. I mean, the last time I wrote was when I was in high school. That was when it hit me: I did write this story when I was in high school. I can't recall when exactly but I think I was in my senior year at that time. My gawd. Embarrassing. As expected, it was a love story. With a tragic ending.

I dont have Friendster and I couldn't trace the user easily. I tried all the possible keywords I could find from the said blog and Googled it until I found a Multiply site. I had no idea who he was but he has friends from my high school (Assumption) and he belonged to the Assumption group as well.

I won't put in the link of his Multiply (since he appears to be active there) but here is the link of his FS blog where the embarrassing story was found.

To "Ron - Technology Freak", thank you! :D

now i'm just a phony

2009-10-29T05:33:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm currently listening to Vertical Horizon's Best I Ever Had. Thus the title.

Last Monday was Reg's birthday. She had a mini house party. Hahaha, define bibo? Aside from Reg and her brother, there were only seven people in the house (Me, George, Jeje, Clyde, Basil, Harvey, Edwin) , but I think it contributed to the lingaw factor. Gubot super.

We had Gilbey's Premium, The Bar vodka and Tanduay. But I'm not going to delve into the details of that night kasi basta. What happens in Puan remains in Puan! Haha, basta I woke up with a major hangover. I puked (oops, sorry) everything I ate and drank in the past 24 hours.

They bought me coke, cooked me noodles, made me lie on the bed pero wala pa rin. Suka pa rin. Tapos in the end, I only had to take a bath lang pala. Good thing, kasi that afternoon, Reg, Jeje, Nep-C (who was absent at the drinking fest) trekked downtown for various "trippings".

Hello? I can say with all confidence that I developed a special and intimate relationship with the toilet that fateful night. Or day. Whatever. I almost hugged its base and kissed its rim while I poured out my heart into it. Spell EWW?

When I was still sober, yes we were still drinking that time so I'm sure I was still sober, I remember Jeje laughing her special laughter. I don't know how to illustrate it but imagine laughter followed by one or two (or three) snorts? Ayown. As expected, we all cracked up upon hearing it. Jeje said, "Huhu, maski unsaon nako dili jud nako ma-change akong katawa" plus the sad face.

And then I remember telling her this, "Je, it's okay. Someday a man's going to fall for you because of your laughter."

Silence. Then George said, "Huuuyyy! Man, hubog na ka? Sugod na man ang emo?"

I said, "Lagi. A man will fall for you because of your flaws, not because of your perfection."

More "huuuyyy's" follow. Change topic kay ulaw. Haha.

Then, I realized that what I said in my tipsy state was true. It was intended originally to cheer Jeje up but I realized, most of the time, it's when your guard is down that someone falls for you. And I really needed to tell that to myself, to not anymore pretend as if I had no weaknesses when my weakness is around. Thus the title.

Bow.

one thing i love about you

2009-10-23T13:58:00.000+08:00

I just ate my words.

I swore I'm never going to watch Ten Things I hate About You the television series because I just want to remember the Patrick Verona who was played by Heath Ledger, like ten years ago.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="189" caption="1999"][/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="209" caption="2009"][/caption]

But Heath Ledger is Heath Ledger. Ethan Peck is love.

I mean, he isn't exceptionally good- looking, but the way he acts, his voice when he speaks, you could just wish you were in Kat's place.

All the actors were also really good. I like the fact that they did not choose picture perfect stars; they chose people who look like people. And the queen bee, Chastity, was black and beautiful.

The script, too, was great. I laughed out loud, which got not a few raised brows from the people at home. It was witty, something I did not really expect based from the sharp lines delivered a decade ago from the movie.

I finished the entire season this afternoon. In one sitting. I haven't eaten lunch or dinner yet. Who cares? Haha, kidding. Guess who couldn't wait for Season 2!

word flow

2009-10-22T18:42:00.000+08:00

She stays up, way past midnight. She tells her parents she won't do this again, that she'd sleep earlier, but she just can't. No trace of drowsiness, no yawn escapes her lips even though the clock from the blaring computer monitor says it's already 2:44.

She doesn't really do anything. She just sits there, trying to figure out what's wrong with her life.

She refreshes her Facebook, the 4 friend requests from early that evening became 5. She opens them in another tab, looks at these random people and closes the tab. She doesn't ignore the invites; she just lets them pile up before deciding on what to do with them. Just like what she does to her problems. Let them pile up.

She gets bored and decides to sleep.

No she doesn't. She lays there, looking at the ceiling. She doesn't twist and turn. She remains in the same position and takes out her phone. One unread text message arrived hours before. She didn't even notice. She reads it, a quote. A love quote.

"It's funny how other people are willing to do lots of brave things just for you, yet you still choose someone who can't even offer you half of what others could."

She scrolls down to finish the message. She smiles and gently shakes her head.

"Fuck love," she says.

She then takes out her headphones and attaches it to her phone. The playlist is on shuffle, she listens to Nirvana for a while. She bobs her head along with the beat and as suddenly as it began, it ends.

Pachelbel's Canon plays next. She doesn't know why she put this on her playlist, it's not her type of music. She smirks but listens on anyway. Then she turns to her side and cries in earnest until she falls asleep.

my room

2009-10-22T11:11:00.000+08:00

Before sembreak:

Dahil wala akong oras mag-ayos at magligpit, eto ang naging epekto sa aking kwarto.

[caption id="attachment_294" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="un-photogenic bed"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_293" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="masakit sa mata"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_292" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="papers!"][/caption]

Ilang weeks din akong natutulog sa akabilang kwarto. Saan mo nga naman ako patutulugin sa kamang yan?

[caption id="attachment_289" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Kulturang Mall readings"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_288" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="hangers na epal"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_286" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="nahihiya raw sya"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_285" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="study table na di naman ginagamit"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_290" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="notes sa art and society"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_284" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="readings na di binasa"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_291" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="ang reason kung bakit di ako nakapagligpit- thesis"][/caption]

Promise. Ilang puno kaya ang namatay para sa thesis ko?

[caption id="attachment_297" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="lahat ng printouts ko sa thesis"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_296" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="more than 1 ream of bond paper"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_295" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="scratch paper lang rin ang ending, tsk3"][/caption]

Right now:

Tatlong oras mahigit akong nag-ayos. I'm so proud. Sana next week, ganito pa rin ang hitsura ng kwarto ko.

[caption id="attachment_283" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="balik eksena ang eheads"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_298" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="party!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_299" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="may matutulugan na ako!"][/caption]

Yey! Goodbye na ako sa pagtulog sa iba't ibang kama! Balik kwarto na ako!

omg

2009-10-21T19:36:00.000+08:00

Wala na nga bang tunaynalalake.blogspot.com?

Yan kasi, na-mainstream na kasi...

Huhu, wala na nga...

Sorry, insomniac lang

popup

2009-10-21T15:29:00.000+08:00

Yeah, you always manage to pop up when I least expect you to.

I hate to admit it, but you still give me jitters.

I thought this sembreak, I would be able to avoid you completely.

Out of sight, out of mind.

But then, out of the blue, you were there.

Teena, well, as expected, told me to ignore you.

Well, I tried to, but I still told you the reason why I can't talk to you.

Work.

Yeah, I have the same job as her.

Oh wait, now I get it.

You probably wanted to ask my advice on what gift to get her?

Or wait.

She probably lost her connection while you were chatting and then decided to talk to me instead!

Nice try.

Hehehe. Next time, we'll talk.

Argh.

You're not even worth this.

"Ka-gwapo ra sa akong ex."

Hahahaha.

But then, somebody told me it's human nature to break the standards.

Tama na beh! Samok!

muse

2009-10-21T10:58:00.000+08:00

I am not going to deny that I am bothered of what you're doing.

I'm sick and tired of being your punching bag.

I don't want to hear your verbal abuse anymore.

But still, I kept my silence.

I never talked back at you, because I wasn't raised that way.

I was raised by my parents to keep my temper in control.

I wonder, how do so much hatred and anger fit inside your heart?

Did anything happen to you as a child?

Were you abused?

Were you hurt?

I could not, for the life of me, understand how a person could have so much angst.

I am hurt by your words.

I am not hurt whenever you call me names, but it hurts when you tell me nobody likes me.

I just hope karma won't come as harsh on you.

Going Wordpress

2009-10-15T10:00:00.000+08:00

This is officially my first post done in WP.

I dunno. Too many lurkers around in Blogger. The only solution was to make my blog private. And I got tired of it. So I said to myself last night, why not make a new one? :)

Anyway, it's almost sem break! Yey! All I have to do is fix my thesis. The great thesis. The great thesis who did not let me sleep for how many nights. And that's it! Vacation mode, err... for about two weeks? Never mind. It's two weeks or nothing.

I pick two weeks.

I really, really hope that next semester will be my last semester in college. OMG, the last few months of jeepney student fare. I badly want to graduate on time. I mean, who doesn't?

I really had a hard time doing my thesis. If you remember, I posted a blog entry telling how I changed my topic, on my freewill. While my classmates were already finishing theirs, I decided to completely erase my almost done thesis and make a new one.

After that, I had to make A LOT of changes. Then on my defense, while I wasn't asked to revise completely, I was asked to change the focus of my study. When I started editing it, I found out that I couldn't possibly change the focus without changing everything.

So I revised almost everything on the weekend before the plenary. I wasn't able to consult my adviser because of the lack of time so I was really nervous when it was my turn to defend in the plenary. But it turned out fine. After all! Finally! Sa wakas!

Okay, enough of that talk. As if I'd really graduate on time? Haha. Spell a-s-s-u-m-i-n-g.

I'm just really glad we made it through the first effin' semester alive. Complete with weight loss and double- set eye bags. Yeah boy. Another sem to go! Hello COMA 200b, let's stay alive 'til next year!

moving on

2009-10-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! After a month (?) of making this blog private, I'm now making it public again. But I'm not using it anymore. Sorry. I'm moving to WordPress so that I can make my blog public but make some posts private. Good luck! I'm gonna miss Blogger by the way, but I have no choice. =( Awww.. See yah there!

Just follow this link =)

Huy, hindi pa sya presentable, promise

thesis it!

2009-10-04T17:12:00.002+08:00

Whew. After a week- long blogging hiatus, here I am blogging again. Not because I have anything worth blogging about but because I am SO desperately in need of a distraction.

I stayed the entire weekend home because I got two exams (believe me, they're not just exams) coming on Tuesday (yes, sabay sila). Good luck sa aking pagmememorize sa Wild Tribes of Mindanao for Anth 125 and the 400 paintings, the artists and the era plus lecture notes for AH5.

I still have papers to do. The mall study for Anth 125 pa rin (what's with these SocSci electives?) and I haven't done half of the screenplay for MEDA 112. And it was due last Friday. Errr...

*bigti*

And on top of that, tomorrow (yes Maan, tomorrow! wah!!!) is my thesis defense. It's such a major oh no. *cries for help*
I have just begun doing the PPT presentation for it and I just spent around ten minutes doing the title slide. Good luck. I hope I do well tomorrow. Please, please, please.

Okay, tapos na ang break time. Back to work. Wish me luck!

misunderstanding

2009-10-01T21:51:00.002+08:00

I knew it. I knew it the way that ugly fag from next door could so confidently barge into YOUR room and make remarks about me. I knew it the way it took you a full two seconds to return my handshake. I knew it the way you didn't come to dinner with us. And breakfast too. I knew it SIS.

I wish you could have told me sooner. I wouldn't have bothered you by barging into YOUR house, even lounging into YOUR bed. Nakakahiya naman di ba? Ang kapal ng mukha ko. Grabe.

By the way, here's your blog, in red letters. Bagay. Thanks SIS, super.

i always believed in the goodness of humanity. i always believed that everybody has flaws thus we should accept a person for who they are. i never thought that this crap would put me in trouble; and it did.

No you didn't. You believed in the badside of humanity. You believed that every good thing a person does has an ulterior motive, or a bad effect at least.

you know what, you've let me down before. this scenario is not at all unfamiliar to me. but i forgave you and i said to myself you'll never do it again. but shit! you worthless, lazy toad. everything I've done was put to waste. i wasted too much time waiting for you and your fucking little favor. but nothing came, nothing happened. and here i am left alone to face them and patch up the traces of trouble that happened because of you.

Thank you. Worthless, lazy toad? Got to remember that next time. Everything you've done put to waste? Like exactly what?
Fucking little favor? So why the hell are we spending SO much time on this stupid election if everything was just a fucking little favor?
Nothing came? Nothing happened? Yeah right.
You are left alone to face who? No SIS, not the students. You are talking about the Student Council Congress. Look it's gonna be fine. Just tell them how stupid the AU chair was. How lazy she was, how worthless.

why can't you just do it? and if you can't, you should have told me. it's not only you who knew how to do that kind of things. all our efforts and build-ups were wasted. i could not even face the students anymore because i haven't kept my promises. why are you like this? can't you understand our dilemma?

You could not even face the students anymore? WOW. You did not keep your promises? Well let me tell you, Your Highness, NOBODY FUCKING CARES.
And for your information, if I didn't understand the dilemma, I would have left you a long, long time ago.

i'm so tired with you and your promises. you're also like them--those people that we used to talk about. we're just another piece of the puzzle for you. worse, you gave us false hopes and promises.

You have no idea how tired I am of you. Yes, maybe I'm like them. The people we USED to talk about. Maybe I'm like them who couldn't keep up with your impossible expectations. No wonder they left you hanging.
I never gave you false hopes and promises. I tried to exert all my best for AU. Sadly, YOU COULD NEVER SEE BEYOND YOUR OWN EFFORTS. YOU COULD NEVER SEE BEYOND YOUR OWN SACRIFICES. WHAT OTHERS DO IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT YOU DO.
And yeah, maybe you're just another piece of the puzzle for me. Just like I'm just another part of the campaign for you. Admit it. You FORCED me into the position so that you could also have your say in the organization. Very good.

now that I've put it into writing--i will never forgive you again. we will not talk to you again.

Suits me.

upbeat updates

2009-09-28T22:34:00.001+08:00

Well, now officially marks the end of my weekend (since we don't do classes on Mondays). Forgive the poem below. It just entered my head while I stared at the washing machine and thought I should write it somewhere. I never found a decent pen and so I published it here in my uber private blog.

I guess I sound like my old self again. Like the Maan two weeks ago? I forgot. Good.

Here's what I did for the entire weekend.

Friday night: I went to the printing press with JM and Cachibee. I did not sleep over at Chiongs after Jurassic years. Maybe because my mother and I were speaking again? (Or maybe because I was considering the possibility that I might see him if I stayed in Mintal). Oh shut up.

Saturday: I spent the entire day, like literally at SM for our Anth 125 assignment. We stayed there for more than 12 hours! It was exhausting but I enjoyed it a lot. It was good that I didn't have to stay home for that day. Would you believe me that the last time I went strolling around the mall was July? Oh and yeah, even my budget made up for it. Good thing my mother did not get annoyed even if I spent all the money she gave me.

Sunday: That was a productive day. I wrote my Anth 125 mall study (even though it wasn't needed yet) and then in the afternoon revised my thesis. I attempted to write my movie treatment but I couldn't because I had fun watching the TV (like OMG, after Jurassic years!). I watched the news about Ondoy (wake up call anyone), watched the F reunion special (I was such a fan back in highschool), watched the Boys Over Flowers special (I am still a fan hehe), and then watched Urduja. Which I didn't get to finish.

Monday: I woke up planning to go to school like what I do every Mondays when I found out that we had no water. Sure, water was running from our faucet but it wasn't potable. You could actually mistake it for Tang. By afternoon, (it was too late to go to school by the way), when the water came back to normal, I washed my two weeks worth of laundry. After that, and until now, I had a movie marathon. I watched 10 Things I Hate About You (one of my favorite films ever...I mean, who would not fall in love with Heath here?), caught up on missed episodes in Gossip Girl, and is now deciding which to watch: 27 Dresses or Love Actually?

Oh, and I did not get online on Facebook. Not even once. =)

PS: Pardon me if I'm in the mood for romantic comedies. I just like to believe that in some cases, love exists after all. =)

babae

2009-09-28T14:55:00.003+08:00

Para sa aking mga kaibigang nakakaalam ng aking sikreto.

Ang unfair- unfair naman.

Kapag ang lalaki iniyakan ang babae, nakakamangha.
Mahal na mahal nga nya ang babae.
Kapag ang babae iniyakan ang lalaki, nakakahiya.
Napakadrama. Napakahina.

Kapag ang lalaki 'di kayang kalimutan ang babae,
aba ibang klase na ito. H'wag nang pakawalan ang tulad nya.
Kapag ang babae 'di kayang kalimutan ang lalaki,
Tanga. Boba. Hindi kayang mabuhay nang mag-isa.

Kapag ang babae nagmahal ng iba,
wala nang mas dudumi sa isang tulad n'ya.
Kapag ang lalaki humanap ng iba,
babae pasensya, he's just not into you lang talaga.

Hindi ako masokista
Kung may pagpipilian lang
Bakit ko naman pipiliing masaktan 'di ba?
Ngunit pagpasensyahan n'yo na
Kung ang kaibigan nyo'y nagiging tanga
Ayaw ko lamang ipahalata
Na naapektuhan ako sa ginawa n'ya

insert cuss word here

2009-09-23T20:18:00.002+08:00

Ang kapal ng mukha mong ngitian ako.
Pero nginitian kita.
Ang kapal ng mukha mong kausapin ako.
Pero kinausap pa rin kita.
Ang kapal ng mukha mong pakiusapan akong ikamusta ka sa kanya.
Pero gagawin ko pa rin yon.
Kasi gago ka.
At tanga ako.

Ay ewan.

.

when will i ever learn?

2009-09-20T19:29:00.001+08:00

Maan Laxa doesn't know what to do, how to feel, and why this is happening to her.

It's amazing how in one week, exactly one week, your life can take a 360- degree turn. It's amazing how one person can say a thing and then after exactly one week, say something completely different.

And it's amazing how one person cannot realize how she had felt until she got hurt.

I hate you. I hate you so much but I can't do anything about it. I choose not to let you know that you got me hurt.

I should have trusted my instincts. I should have learned from my past mistakes. But I did not. Because you did so well with your job. You were so effective in convincing me that you cared.

This must be one of the most humiliating things that happened to me this year. I thought that I would never get hurt again, I thought that I already became immune to the pain. But you just made me vulnerable again. Congratulations.

If I had no pride, I would have wanted to ask you why you said those things in the first place. If I had no pride, I would have wanted to ask you if those words really meant something to you. Thank goodness I still had an ounce of pride in me. Because it sorts of alleviates the humiliation I am feeling right now.

I wish you had just told me earlier that you liked HER. It wouldn't have been a big deal. But no, you chose to tell me you liked me. Why? Am I the trial version of her? Were you trying to see if you can be effective?

What's worse is that you chose to tell me. A week ago, you told me you liked me. Today, you told ME that you like her. Did I do anything to you? Can't you just tell it to somebody else? You went online just to see if I were also online, IM'ed me on Facebook, you even had the nerve to ask how I am doing, dropped the bombshell, had the nerve to ask for MY help and then went offline again? As if it didn't mean a thing???

I don't know why it feels so painful. Maybe I feel something for you. Hopefully, this wouldn't last.

You did it. You officially break my trust, not just in you, but in male-dom as well. Congratulations. Good luck.

all new and improved blog

2009-09-16T23:25:00.001+08:00

Now fortified with Vitamin C!

If you are reading this post, that means you are one of the FEW people I have allowed to read this blog.

I just changed my setting from open- for- all to selected people only.

I think I realized that my goals in writing a blog are to practice writing AND to express my feelings. I don't remember aiming to be read by anyone. Which was not bad, but it's now becoming awkward. It's as if I have a hidden camera inside my room on live stream.

So yeah, this is the end of the anonymous commenter(s) and the reactive readers whom I don't even know.

Don't worry, I'll publish a book in the future. You can read my writings there. Hehe.

Good night!

sana hindi ako naba-bother dahil sa 'yo

2009-09-13T21:21:00.004+08:00

Said title was supposed to be my status message in FB when my left brain realized it that I don't want to make a commotion out of it. I don't even want to blog about it in the first place, only that I think it's be better to let it out. At least, in a domain of a little "privacy" (as if).

I don't know what to think. Argh. Did you mean what you had said? Or did you just say it for the sake of saying it? Do I make any sense? Hehe, no I do not.

I wish I could be cool about it. Yeah, I can act cool. But I wasn't lying when I said I really don't know how to react when somebody tells me those kinds of things.

I mean, I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but argh, I think I already did. Kasalanan mo to. You caught me off-guard. Malay ko bang mapupunta dun ang usapan.

So did you really mean what you had said?

*I wish you'll never find out about this post. *

uber haggard

2009-09-12T23:05:00.004+08:00

Things to do:

1. Finish thesis before September 16.
2. Finish Material Making Exam before September 16.
3. Study for MST3 exam, September 17.
4. Edit graphics for batch book section.
5. Take pictures of electric wire formed into words, still for batch book.
6. Finish the layout of all graphics before September 14.
7. Prepare for PGMA walkout on September 15.
8. Find solicitors for batch book before September 18.
8. Complete electoral slate for CSM- SC before September 18.
9. Do the laundry by tomorrow.

...

at marami pang iba na 'di ko na maalala. my gahddd.

issues

2009-08-30T20:51:00.004+08:00

Ang dami- daming issues sa Facebook. (Kaya dito na lang ako magpopost) Parang course war. All because of the cheerdance competition... na hindi namin napanood dahil alas diyes na kami nagising.

In short, wala talaga akong say. Kasi hindi ko naman alam ang nangyari. Ang alam ko lang, pinapaglaban ng Comm Arts (my course) na fair ang kanilang pagkapanalo, due to the ranking system na ginamit ng judges. Tapos ang sa Applied Math naman, may mali sa computations, knowing na hindi naman maa-add ang ordinal values.

OMG tama ba? Tapos ayun, parang lumaki na ang issue.

Anyway, may isang issue pa.

May nagpost daw sa freedom wall (OMG hindi ko rin to nakita. What's wrong with me?) na mga bobo daw sa Math ang mga taga- Comm Arts.

I beg to disagree. Just because hindi Math- related ang kinuha naming course ay mahina na kami sa Math. Kunwari hindi broadcast media- related ang kinuha mong kurso ay bobo ka na sa aspetong ito? Hindi naman siguro.

Mayabang na kung mayabang. Pero nung nagtake ako ng Math nung first year, 1.75 ang grado ko. Medyo mataas naman yun hindi ba? Nadale nga lang ako sa Stat 1 dahil sabay ko itong kinuha sa STS ni Sir Rasco.

At eto pa. MST 3 ang kinukuha ko ngayong sem. MST 3 as in Math 1. Halu- halo ang mga kumukuha ng subject na ito. May mga taga- CSM din. Pero ipagmamalaki ko sa inyo na mataa- taas naman ang ranking naming mga Comm Arts.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganito na lang ang pagsira sa kurso ko.

Walang ganyanan. Pare- pareho rin naman taung kumuha at nakapasa sa UPCAT ah.

up

2009-08-29T22:15:00.003+08:00

I had just watched Up, thanks to my uber delayed time frame.

The movie was really good. So many people have been telling me (majority in lieu of Facebook) that Up is really good. When the movie started, I thought I would be disappointed because of my high expectations.

But OMG, the storyline, the effects, the script, everything hit the target.

The movie is basically the embodiment of letting go and moving on. It's about not living in the past, but in the present. It's about choosing your priorities, and it's about cherishing the friendships you make along the way.

Once again, Disney did not fail to make me laugh and cry.

why i blog

2009-08-29T13:51:00.003+08:00

I blog when I get happy.
I blog when I get mad.
I blog when I get sad.

I blog because,
even if I am talkative at times
there will always be things
that I can't say out loud.

Don't judge me if I use the wrong words
Or if there are parts which I didn't get right
Or if my posts are OA
Or if my posts don't have any sense at all

Because it's the expression of me
And not the expression of you

babae lamang ako...

2009-08-21T21:37:00.002+08:00

...fickle minded.

Next week na ang submission ng final drafts namin sa thesis. Revision na ako. Malapit na talaga. Sana. Pero...

Nung Tuesday night, naisip ko na hindi na ako masaya sa aking research. Gusto ko talagang mag production thesis.

Bale sa Media Arts kase, may 2 choices. Una, research work. Second, production. Ibig sabihin ng production, gagawin mo talaga ang procedures na napag-aralan mo. As in.

Tapos yun. Mas marami na nga akong nagawa kesa sa iba kong mga classmates. Pero binack- out ko. Gogogo tayo sa prod! Complete revision na bonggang bongga. Maloloka sa akin ang adviser ko neto. Dapat hindi na ako magchachange topic. Ever.

Kaya ito, patapos na ang mga classmates ko, simula pa lang ako. At may gana pang magblog. Goodluckerz!

Pi Sigma- Pi Sigma Delta Confraternity

2009-08-15T07:00:00.002+08:00

Happy 37th Anniversary mga brods from Pi Sigma Fraternity.

Mabuhay ang kapatirang Pi Sigma- Pi Sigma Delta!

GIVE THAT MAN A MAAN.

2009-08-12T20:59:00.005+08:00

Note to sa Facebook eh. Na-tag ako pero never ako nakapagrepost. Tapos tinag ako ni George at nainggit ako

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
HUNGRY? WHY WAIT? GRAB A MAAN!
***oo ganyan ako ka-gutom at kakainin ko na sarili ko.

2. What do you want other people say about you?
THE WORLD'S FAVORITE MAAN.
***yes. alam ko naman yan. hindi na kailangan ng paliwanag. =)

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
COME FLY THE FRIENDLY MAAN.
***ayyeee!!! friendly talaga ako. at mahilig akong lumipad. yes.

4. How would you answer a booty call?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A MAAN?
***woohoo!!! kontrobersyal!!!

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
151 COUNTRIES. ONE MAAN.
***hahahaha pota! matry nga yan kay... =)

6. --to someone you dislike?
THE LOUDEST NOISE COMES FROM THE ELECTRIC MAAN.
*** kaya magtago ka na __, __, at __ dahil electric ako!

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
GO TO WORK ON A MAAN.
***meaning ba ani kay sabay mi magpee? oops!

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
THE NON-STICKY STICKY MAAN.
***(pareha ta george) pilit nlang saw si mama sa wall.

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
THE MAAN OF PARADISE.
***kaluoy, magBEACH (as in Paradise sa Samal) nlang tawon ko.. wahaha freak out!

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
IT'S MAAN TIME.
***tapos ang name niya kay MORPHIN' para pares mi. It's Maan Time og si It's Morphin' Time.

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
NOW WITH 50% MORE MAAN!
*** does it mean na mas kumpleto ako after the breakup? yuk way angay.

12. Someone told you you're an asshole, you tell them...
FOR THAT DEEP DOWN BODY MAAN.
*** hahaha mag foetal position na lang ko sa atrium.

13. What are the best words to describe you?
I'M NOT GONNA PAY A LOT FOR THIS MAAN.
*** first reaction: huhuhu luoya nako oiiii!!! patya na lang ko!!!
second reaction: ay oo nga naman. because i'm PRICELESS. ngek.

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
RACE FOR THE MAAN.
***wee! ganahan si tehta! habulan ang drama yot!

15. Your last words before you die...
IT DOES EXACLTY WHAT IT SAYS ON THE MAAN.
*** so if iingon nako na magbisita ko from the other realm...

16. Your message to a special someone.
YOU PRESS THE MAAN, WE DO THE REST.
***ngano press jud? *hearty laugh*

17. Title of this post will be...
GIVE THAT MAN A MAAN.
***i agree! hahaha!

p*ste

2009-08-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

Piste kang bayuta ka. Hilabtanon kaayo ka. Wala jud baya miy labot nimo. Ambot ngano sige ka og panghilabot. Ingon ana jud imong pagka-obsess sa amua? Ha?

Piste ka, piste ka, piste ka. Mura kag kinsa ba. Litse. Nagapugong- pugong ra baya mi ha. Besides, wala man gud mi nagapatol og mga losers. Bayot ka. Puta ka. Buisit. Dili manghilabot sa mga tao nga way pakialam nimo beh. Wala na ka naulaw. Nagsige na lang ka og papansin.

Kung gusto nimo og gubot, sturyahi mi kanang personal jud oi. Dili kanang nagatago ka. Pagka na lang nimo. Bayot jud.

new storm

2009-08-09T19:20:00.003+08:00

Pansin ko lang ha, every week may bagong problema. Eto bago na naman.

Itago na lang natin s'ya sa pangalang "whistle blower". Actually hindi ko rin naman talaga alam kung sino sya.

Kaninang mga ala una, habang naghuhugas ako ng pinggan, tumunog ang phone ko. Dahil basa ang mga kamay ko, pinabayaan ko lang. Nung natapos na ako sa paghuhugas naalala ko may message nga pala ako.

Sabihin na nating pinapakialaman nya ang isang org ko. Agad- agad akong nagtext sa lahat ng "concerned" pero lahat sila sabi hindi nila alam kung kaninong numero yon. Hindi rin naman nya sinasabi sa akin kung sino sya, bakit nga naman di ba? Baka huntingin namin sya di ba?

Ang masasabi ko lang:

Girl, hindi kita kilala. Kung kilala man kita, pwes mula ngayon, kalimutan mong naging magkaibigan tayo. Wala kang karapatang manghusga lalung- lalo na ang mangthreaten. Wag kang magtago sa ilalim ng unlisted number girl!

Kung may isusumbat ka man sa amin, sabihin mo nang harapan! Natatakot ka?

Kung matapang ka, magpakilala ka! Ilang beses ka ring nagtext sa akin dba? At first parang kung sino ka. Nung nireplyan at nireplyan kita, bakit parang humihina ang mga atake mo? Sinabi mo pang wag kong sasabihin sa iba? Fuck you girl! Mind your own business!

omg may fb na si inay

2009-08-07T21:48:00.003+08:00

Hindi ako umuwi ng bahay kahapon due to unforeseen circumstances.
Hindi ko akalaing habang ako ay wala, naglaro ang daga.
Itago na lang natin sa pangalang MILA LAXA ang dagang 'yon.

Akalain mo, pagbukas ko ng Facebook, may 2 invites.
Kakilala ko yung isa, accept lang ako.
Tapos yung isa, walang mukha.
Ang pangalan nya, MILA LAXA.

Maan (panic mode): Ma!
Mama: Ano?
Maan: Ikaw tong si Mila Laxa sa FB?
Mama: Oo, accept mo na friend request ko.
Maan: *nanlumo*

My gehd. Wala na. Ang dami ko pa namang kababalaghan sa FB. Deep sigh.

moral dilemma

2009-08-03T22:04:00.004+08:00

Feeling ko talaga sobra yung count ng Rarejob sa dapat na sweldo ko.. pero nahihiya akong magsabi sa kanila kasi baka totoo nga.. Kailangan ko kasi ng pera dahil ako'y gipit..

Anyway, kakauwi ko lang ng bahay. Nanggaling ako sa beautiful place of Mintal, Davao City.

Paggising ko kanina, wala nang tao sa bahay. Panic mode. Wala akong pamasahe! Kaya hinalungkat ko ang bahay in my search for love money. Malayo kasi ang Mintal, 2 hrs away galing bahay. Pero dun ako nag- aaral. At bumabyahe ako ng 2 hrs sa araw- araw na ginawa ni Bathala. Matapos ang ilang minutong paghahanap ng pera, ayun may singkwentang lumabas. Ayun, nakaraos din.

Ano nga bang ginagawa ko sa Mintal ngayong wala namang pasok? Halos buong hapon po kaming nag E.D. (educational discussion) kina R, K, T at A. Sayang at 'di nakapunta sina M, P, B, at C.

Hay, malaki talaga ang nagagawa pag committed ka sa isang bagay, o sa isang organisasyon, o sa isang kapatiran. Hindi naman sa nagbibilang ako, pero sana ay marealize naman ng ibang tao jan ang sakripisyo ng lahat ng mga miyembro, 'di lang sa kanila.

Sana rin ay walang nagpa- power tripping. Masama yun lalo na sa kapatirang katulad ng atin. Tsaka 'yang mga supporters ng mga power trippers na wala nang ibang ginawa kundi kumabit sa power tripper at mag- utos sa ibang tao.

Baka nakakalimutan mo power tripper, kami ang naghalal sa iyo. At baka nakakalimutan mo, kanang kamay ng power tripper, KUNG TUTUUSIN, AKO ANG MAY MATAAS NA PUSISYON SA ORGANISASYON. Baka nakalimutan mong kabilang ako sa top 3 officers. Kayang- kaya kitang utusan. Ngunit hindi ko yan ginawa.

Baka akala nyo hindi ko nahahalata kung paano ninyo kwestyunin ang ginagawa ng ibang mga miyembro. Walang ganyanan.

designs (sana maprint)

2009-08-02T22:15:00.007+08:00

Hindi pa ako prepared para ipost at i-advertise ang mga 'to sa Facebook
kaya dito muna kung saan tanging mga kaibigan ko lamang ang makakakita..

Dahil wala akong trip ay nadiscover ko ang site na ito. Nakakaadik magdesign!

Eto, para sa mahal kong org, ANAK UPMin.. (click to enlarge)

At eto naman para sa mga mahal kong kaibigan. (click to enlarge pa rin)

Hindi na nga pala ako nagdesign ng para sa iba kong orgs dahil wala naman akong karapatan, haha. Joke. Ang orgs na 'yun ay ang kapatirang Pi Sigma- Pi Sigma Delta Confraternity, Communicator's Guild of the Philippines at Rotaract UP Mindanao. May ibang mga taong nang nag care-of ng shirt designs para sa kanila.

death na naman

2009-08-01T20:43:00.004+08:00

President Cory Aquino
January 25, 1933- August 1, 2009

sona 2009

2009-07-27T19:19:00.003+08:00

I was supposed to go to a protest rally downtown earlier today, but the weather did not cooperate. So I just watched GMA's SONA on free tv.

All lies. I really hope that would be her last SONA.

What happened to the real state of the nation? Is it against the law to talk about the real situation of the country in your speech? And why all those applause?

At the beginning, my sister and I started to count each time the people clapped. Not more than 15 minutes later, we got tired of counting.

All those good things she said, like our debt going down to half, our GNPs and GDPs increasing up to 50%, 8 million job openings, more budget for education, cheaper medicine, if all these things happened during her regime, people would not be walking in the streets, calling for her to step down her throne.

She said that in the last year's global economic tumult, the Philippines manifested no sign of economic reduction. Then again, how could our economy further diminish if it's already at the bottom to begin with?

Also, her SONA was filled with so many stabs against her so- called political critics. Let's just say that these critics are also presidentiables for next year's elections. I mean, it's not that I am siding with those candidates, but why does she have to turn a STATE OF THE NATION ADDRESS into a political warfare?

This is in my opinion, another manipulation of the administration. Liar.

You can see the transcript of her speech here.

black balloon

2009-07-25T18:39:00.004+08:00

This is my declaration of independence.

They said you cannot turn your feelings on and off like a faucet. But why does it feel like all my feelings were suddenly turned off? The past weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I have been through extreme highs and extreme lows. And I have been able to figure out what I really felt all this time.

And yes, I'm still talking about the same person I have always talked about in "similar" blog posts. It feels as if I never had feelings for him. Yes, I've had feelings like... two years ago? But now, zero, zilch, nada, wala.

It feels as if I FORCED MYSELF TO LIKE HIM because there's nobody else to like. It feels as if MY FRIENDS JUST ASSUMED THAT I LIKED HIM so I also chose to like him. But it's bound to stop. I'm bound to realize that yes, the denial queen in me indeed existed, but not in the way my friends used to think.

The denial queen in me did not try to push those feelings away, (Teena). The denial queen in me tried so hard to like someone for the sake of liking someone. But no, the feelings did not exist.

Now, the denial queen is not anymore in denial, because there's nothing to deny. It feels so liberating to acknowledge this fact. And I think it's really interesting how I've been able to put through this for months.

How is this possible, you may ask? Probably because since summer, my mind has been conditioned to think that I miss him and that I like him so much that my body acted that way, too. But the mind learned; the mind already said sorry to the body for the deception.

And finally, I realized that there's nothing wrong with not liking anybody. My time will come.

*Sabi ni John Rzeznik (omg tama ba ang spelling?), baby's black balloon makes her fly.. drugs daw ibig sabihin ng black balloon.. Speaking of drugs, addicted ako sa kanta grabe. Matagal- tagal na rin ito sa playlist ko pero ngayon ko lang naappreciate.

review of the week

2009-07-17T21:00:00.003+08:00

Good news: Daryl George has a (pseudo?) boyfriend na in the katauhan of kuya Jerson. Yey!
Bad news: Teena lost her uber nice phone. What happened? Ninakaw? Boo! Boo! Boo!

Notice that I didn't have any news about myself. Perhaps it's because I don't wanna dwell. It's so depressing. Huhuhu, please don't q_ _ _. You know who you are. And that's it.

Anyway, I want to talk about the very nice afternoon I had. Special shout out to Karel aka Jeje who doesn't read my blog because she doesn't blog in the first place. Thanks Je, I really enjoyed our bonding. And eating session. We were able to say things we have been keeping to ourselves for a while, things we couldn't really say to our other friends.

I wish I was able to make you feel better when you shared your feelings about him. And also about her. You know na. Basta you really made me feel better when you listened to me blab about him. You know na rin. I mean, these are the things I couldn't tell anyone else. Except the people mentioned above din, haha.

I realized that maybe I haven't fully gotten over him yet, though as what you pointed out, I'm getting there. Maybe I just stopped hoping? Gave up hoping? Perhaps. I'm not sure, too. Or perhaps I chose to stop dwelling. Mind power is powerful. Whatever it is that I'm feeling now, it's surely better.

Anyway, like what I said, I really enjoyed our bonding moment. Inulan nga lang tayo, pero chox lang. Let's do this again ha. Hehe

eating michael jackson

2009-07-13T01:25:00.005+08:00

This is WAAAAY too late to publish a tribute to MJ, or even post something remotely related. Even Yahoo! has moved on from putting MJ on the featured news every second of every day.

But I just got off the television set. ABS CBN showed the 30th anniv concert of Michael. I don't know what year it was but perhaps it's in the late 90s or early 2000s. Becase Beyonce was still a Destiny's Child girl and Justin Timberlake was still an 'NSync guy.

And pota, ang amazing talaga ni Michael. Pucha. Moonwalk pa. Nakakaano. Ano? Basta.

I've never been an MJ fan, though I listen to his music, but I never was a fan. All I know is that as a child, I grew up amazed with his moves on MTV. Yuk ang tanda ko na. I grew up staying tuned on MTV so that I can see videos of Thriller, Smooth Criminal, and Black or White.

So I guess I'm part of the last generation who were able to appreciate Michael Jackson during their childhood.

I don't think the world will have another Michael Jackson.

(And yeah, bakit ang sexy nya tingnan sumayaw? If others do his moves, nakakatawa lang pero pag s'ya parang tumpak.. Kaya pala inlab nanay ko sa kanya)

insensitive people

2009-07-12T22:13:00.004+08:00

(Okay, disclaimer: to my friends who MIGHT be reading this post and KNOW that they are the people I'm talking about, nakagetover na ako, I just want to write this down para no grudges. Don't worry, no name dropping)

Even if you're my closest friends, don't think I won't ever walk out on you. I just cannot tolerate that kind of behavior. I mean, I know I'm not that a good friend din but I TRY to be sensitive. I may bitch and bully you all the way but if I sense that I should stop, I would stop. Azzen.

But you know earlier that I have to be home early. I need to buy some groceries because wala nang pagkain sa bahay. Which logically means that I have to be home before dinner WITH the groceries. We got to SM after 3. It was already around 5 that I got to buy the groceries.

Why? I went along with you. You bought this, I stayed around and helped in choosing. You never even noticed that I was always asking what time it was. But I didn't nag because after all, nobody forced me to come along with you.

So it's not actually your fault that I got to buy the groceries late. Because I could have gone to GMall instead. But I wanted to come along with you because it's fun. Gerdammit, should've gone alone instead.

When it was already past 4, my mother texted me, asking where the hell I was. Of course I told her I was already buying the damned groceries. But no. In reality, I was still in that department store, me and R, wondering where the hell the others were and why they weren't replying.

And then, we found all of you, still debating on what shades look better on J's face. C was holding a ton of shades and asking J to try them on. Over and over again. E was nowhere to be found. I would have stayed a little longer but that would mean I would nag you and I don't want to ruin your fun. So I walked out and bought the groceries.

And again, to make it clear, I'm okay now. I'm only posting this for "pahungaw" purposes. But please don't do it again. Not to anyone. Be sensitive. Peace. Luv yah guys.

frantic thesis mode

2009-07-05T18:05:00.002+08:00

THESIS was my top priority last weekend. And I'm proud to say that I didn't stray from that priority. I didn't even step outta the house. Isn't it great?

Pero, I'm going to submit my super rough draft tomorrow to my adviser and I still don't know what theory to use in my study. Okay I'm boring. Azzen. But I truthfully don't have anything else in mind aside from that THESIS. Oh how I dread it.

I noticed that it's been awhile since I last remembered my dream. Perhaps I'm really like that. I only remember my dreams during school breaks. I wonder what I'm going to dream tonight.

Okay, I'm only blogging because I just finished my last class for Rarejob and I'm going to finish my draft afterward. This is like break time muna. Life's not doing great.

And speaking of NOT great, I really really have to buy a new phone. None of the available phones at home are working. Stupid phones. Fakken technology. I haven't been receiving messages for what, almost 2 weeks? The hell. I have no idea who's been texting me.

Oh, and I decided not to get an expensive phone. I made a deal with Tine that we're only upgrading our phones if sure na na makakagraduate kami on April. Woohoo, BIG deal. Literally.

I. Really. Need. A. Phone. Now.

insomnia..ah ah

2009-06-28T01:31:00.004+08:00

I was really sleepy kanina when I was having a class at Rarejob but now I can't sleep at all. I know I want to sleep but my mind is feeling so restless. Like duh, as usual. Kasalanan mo 'to Rarejob. Nakalimutan ko na kung pa'no matulog.

I can't remember the last time I slept before midnight, so nothing's really new except that I really want to sleep and I've already run out of things to do over the net. TV's out of the question kasi nakakapagod nang bumaba.

I've checked out every single interesting post on Multiply- OMG!

Ayown! Alam ko na! Magta- transfer na ako ng blogs! Yes!

Feels like insomnia, ah ah.. (repeat 13279021 times)

--After 10 minutes

Ayan, nakatransfer na ako ng personal blog posts. In my Multiply kasi, I noticed most of my posts were surveys, reposts, etc.

Nakakatuwang magbasa. I realized that a person can really change in a matter of time. Minsan years, minsan days lang. I came across this blog, already reposted here, which I wrote exactly a year ago. I'm not saying I wouldn't have written that blog if it happened now pero wala lang.

I'm just amazed to know that time can really fly so fast that sometimes all you can see is the residue of it.

Also, tawang- tawa ako because of that Jan 2008 blog. Hindi ko makaya, really nakakahiya but I transferred it here anyway. I mean, hello, I don't even remember whom I was talking about!